First Life: The Wizard Prince & The Half-Blood Prince | Covert Romance - AssonanceWriter - Harry Potter (2024)

Chapter 1: J: 0.1 The nerve.

Chapter Text


"Would you like another one?"

I'm startled by the stern voice of the butterbeertender and look down at my drink, amazed at how nearly empty it is, then back up at him, squinting my eyes to see the dark, long black hair that falls to the edge of his face. I grinned.

He's Sirius, Sirius Black.

The butterbeer isn't as strong as the muggle kind, and it's even safe for children to drink, but I've lost count of how many I've had.

"When do you get off?" I say, pushing my empty glass towards him.

He grabs the bottle of newly brewed butterbeer and adds three cubes of ice to a fresh glass, hardly even acknowledging my presence.

"What the blimey hell is wrong with you?" I said, drinking it down quickly.

The sound of others laughter fills up the three broomsticks, and this new profound energy that Sirius is emitting is setting me off like mad fire. I get up and slam the now empty glass on the counter, and I reach out and grab hold of his left arm.

"How dare you ignore me," I let out.

Everything comes to a blur, and instantly I panicked as I let my wand slide down from my sleeve. I'm on edge. I had been all evening, and it was all because I bullied that pathetic excuse of a wizard, Severus Snape. Lily was not pleased with me. She questioned why I do what I do, even though it's for a simple reason. It's because his dark hair is always disgustingly greasy, and his mere existence irritates me for no apparent reason. However, she did not accept that as an answer and refuses to speak to me unless I apologize to that thing. Even a muggle born has more value, but I needed to clear my mind.




The next day

As I opened my eyes, I discovered that my arms and legs were bound to a tree. I was robbed out of my garments where my wand was not in close proximity to me. I felt vulnerable, defenseless, and pathetically scared.

"You're up,"

It takes me a few moments to register that dispassionate tone of voice, and because I had so much butterbeer coursing through my wizardblood streams, I automatically went into autolock mode and blurted out a bunch of insults.

"Why in the bloody hell are you in my presence, you filthy—excuse of a wizard—"

Severus let out a loud sigh, almost irritated, before turning his head towards me and showing me a newly brewed potion.

"I will be the one taking Lily to the Yule Ball, Potter." Severus says, as he drinks the potion in front of me, transforming into another me.

What the heck?

He took her to the Yule Ball the year prior, it's unfair as is already.

I shouldn't have to wait in line to take Lily Evans to the Yule Ball.

"You're pathetic! You filthy—"

"Silencio," Severus utters,

I felt like someone had shoved a sock down my throat, and I wanted with all of my might to get my wand and torture him in agony. I can't contain my rage at him for taking on my appearance. I know that coming from the Potter family's wealthy lineage is amazing and that my very existence is a holy grail, but today he has crossed it by wearing my face, even for a single minute.

Where in Merlin's beard did Sirius go last night?

He left me with this sordid creature, more deplorable than the creatures from the forbidden forest.

The corner of Severus's mouth rises in a co*cky, all-too-knowing smirk, and I find myself thinking just how handsome I must truly be to have such a radiant smug look, had this been a mirror instead of a fraud.

"Just so you know," Severus says with my voice.

"You're in the forbidden forest, Potter."Severus gives me a sidelong glance.

"See you in Potions class,"

Begrudgingly, I drag my eyes away from him and try to speak, but no words come out. He now shares the same face as me, not the same brain, but he should at least try to capture what my lips are saying, but instead he returns with a smirk. The clothes that he's wearing are even that of mine, so that's why he stripped me bare.

The nerve.

Chapter 2: S: 0.2 Mock him

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

"Sev, I'm afraid that I like Potter,"

A soundless declaration of clarity that repeats itself over and over in my head.


Why does Lily like that bully so much?

Even after all of the things that he did to me, it hurts so bad that I can't even express the extent of betrayal that I felt. I can respect that she doesn't share the same feelings for me as I have towards her, but to choose a Wizard of a man child like that of James Potter?

I can't accept it.

"Ughh...Sirius..." James muttered while sipping through his butterbeers.

Even when he was sober, he didn't catch on that I was the butterbeertender tonight and that Sirius had other matters at hand, probably out shopping, spending all of his money on a new cloak before enjoying watching the Triwizard Tournament. The more I looked at him, the more annoyed I felt about Lily's decision.

He was on the verge of collapsing since he had one too many that even I lost count of. My coworkers told me that he had been here since 4.

It's almost dark.

"Would you like another one? I asked.

"When do you get off?" James says, pushing his empty glass towards me.

What in the name of the defense of the dark arts magic is he on?

Is the famous, all conceited James Potter trying to make conversation with me?

The same wizard who serves as his play toy?

Instead of just making him a fresh brew of butterbeer, I should splash it all over his face and just let him have it, shall I?

I imagine how it would play out over and over in my mind as the thought trails to play—I can't help but feel slightly happy about it.

"What the blimey hell is wrong with you?" James says, drinking it down quickly.

Did he see through me?

I'm thinking that I should find another place to fantasize where he can't see my face or read my thoughts. Actually, the all mighty James Potter doesn't have the power to do that yet. Maybe his parents bribe the professors to give him good grades. He doesn't have to work for them; they're just given to him.

As soon as I turn around, the tug of his fingers gripped onto my arm by surprise.

"How dare you ignore me," James says sternly.

"I—I did no such thing, Po—"

James is tall, with broad shoulders, a solid chest, and he has large enough biceps to be able to lift and fling me around even if I did nothing to irritate or annoy him. I have to use caution when speaking with him. And if the anger in his eyes recognized me even by voice, he would definitely go berserk.

I hadn't even finished my sentence when James suddenly collapsed onto the counter. I quickly looked around the bar, hoping to see Remus or Peter nearby to come and help their friend, but unfortunately, luck was not on my side. Suddenly, a twisted thought crossed my head. I was never one for petty tricks such as mixing a polyjuice potion, but this could be my only chance to discover why Lily likes this beast of a wizard so much.

What did he have that I didn't have?

What was I lacking?
Answers that I must know trailed at the thought of vengeance.

For four years, he's teased, bullied, and made a fool out of me. This very night, he will experience it all at once.

It's going to be horrendous.

Since James was a bit larger, I cast a shrinking spell on him to make him rather small so that I could carry him in the palms of my hand.

I knew that students weren't allowed to go in the forbidden forest, but I wanted to scare James more than I wanted to transform into him. The mere thought of it made me smile, and I for one, do not smile often.

As the Reducio spell wore off, James was getting heavier and heavier throughout the walk. Eventually, he returned to his normal size, and I clumsily fell flat onto the ground with a thud.

"You're–heavy!" I shouted.

"Mhmm, S–Sirius...Evans said....said that–Mhmm..." James utters,

His Butterbeer breath brushes over my face as I shove him off of me, just to allow myself to breathe.

I look around us and we were neither too far nor too deep into the forbidden forest, and if James Potter were as smart as he painted himself to be, he should be able to get out of the forest on his own without much effort.

However, in case he decides to start bullying me as soon as he wakes up, I undressed him and traced my eyes on the soft contour of his nose and the acute angle of his jawline as I examined his face. I saw that he wasn't very wizardly handsome, even with the short black strands of hair covering his forehead. It was actually obvious to anyone with normal vision that he was just a regular, unremarkable-looking guy. There's nothing strikingly special about his looks; the longer I gaze at him, the more...disgusted I feel overall in comparison.

As I grabbed hold of his arms and tied him to a tree with the fabrics from my cloak. I hear him mumbling something.

"Please don't be mad at me,"

I paused, only concerned that he was in the middle of a wake.

"Please, Evans—have a heart," James says,

Instinctively, I tied his wrists together quickly and then followed that with both of his feet.

"I...really don't have a reason for why I do what I do, but you must understand this,..." James utters,

I waited to hear what he had to say next because now I'm intrigued.

"He's gloomy, boring, and no fun at all, he's just for entertainment purposes, but for you, I can do anything, but apologizing to him is something that is just not in my blood."

I found myself biting down on my bottom lips, equally irritated and wanting to use the forbidden spell on him. No, not the one that kills him; I despise him, but not to that extent.

"Snivellus," James utters,

That's the derogatory moniker he and the Marauders gave me.

"What?" I respond irritatedly.

Suddenly, he planted his forehead over my left shoulder as he sniffed me in.

"Go get some floo powder and transport yourself to a stall where there is running water in a pipe called a shower,"

I stepped back and felt annoyed all of a sudden, keeping my eyes on him.

"You're a rats ass, do you know that Potter?" I say,

"Mhmm, that's Peter," James mutters tiredly,

It was at this moment that he had completely fallen asleep. Instead of using scissors and being gentle with his hair, I grab it with my fingers and tear it off his scalp, leaving a small bald spot. James woke up with a loud, "ouch!" but soon fell asleep not long after.

"Thank you for your donation, Potter," I say, emotionless.

James opened his eyes and slowly blinked them as he connected his gaze to mine. A smile appears on his face as he shuts his eyes to fall asleep again. I don't know anyone who could sleep standing up, but add James Potter to that list.

Mixing the ingredients to make the perfect polyjuice, I waited anxiously for the Wizard Prince to awaken.

While creating a protection barrier to hide us from the creatures in the forbidden forest.

I've made the decision to consume the polyjuice in front of him as soon as he's sober and awake in order to completely ...

Mock him.

Chapter 3: J: 0.3 Game on.

Chapter Text


"See you in Potions class,"

How dare he leave me in this pathetic state?

Moments after, my voice returned and immediately, I started screaming spells at the top of my lungs, without my wand.

"Levioso!!!" I screamed.

"Accio, Snivellus!!!!"

The sun was shining and tainting my already perfect light-medium skin, slightly darkening it,

"Come back here, Snivellus!!!!" I screamed, knowing that he was far gone from where I was left.

My arms were hurting from being in this position. It feels like I'm being sacrificed. I'm also very thirsty. If you're going to leave me here, please be generous enough to leave some water. But if the situation was reversed, my friends and I would probably do the same thing.

But that's the thing—this isn't supposed to happen to me!

This just isn't fair!

"I'll tell the headmaster about this!" I screamed.

The hours ticked by, and not a single beast or magical creature cared enough to pay me a visit.

It's the Marauders that are on my mind. Sirius's nickname is Padfoot the dog, Peter's nickname is Wormtail the rat, and Remus's transformation also earned him the moniker "Moony."

I was dubbed Prongs the Stag.

I'm a pretty cool wizard deserving of such a name because I lead, not follow.

Another hour came to pass, and judging from the sunset, it was past noon.

The sound of footsteps crunching leaves startled me. Before I could make a sound, a shadow revealed to me that the person approaching me was none other than my future girlfriend, Lily Evans.

"Potter!" Lily's sweet voice enters my ears like music.

"I'm right here, Love!" I shouted.

Soon, she made it to where I was and used her wand to remove the cloth that was binding me.

"You found me," I whispered,

"Of course, I was worried about you, you were a bit odd in Potions class. You left so quickly, that I sent you an owl, and I got no response." Lily says,

I fall to the ground, and immediately she removes her cloak and wraps it around me.

I have already admitted my feelings to Lily, but she has not fully accepted my proposal yet. I have been reflecting on the fact that this unrequited love is nothing to be afraid of, and that, I want to take the next step and make our relationship official, as our feelings for each other are mutual.

I'll take my chances on getting such a rare opportunity.

"Evans, about last night, what I did to Snivellus, Can you forgive me?" I say softly.

Her eyebrows arched.

"His name is Severus Snape, not Snivellus." Lily corrects me.

I noticed her lips twitching as my gaze fixed on them while she expressed her opinion that Sirius and I needed to grow up because we were already in our fifth year at Hogwarts and had no ambition. She believed that we were choosing the wrong battles and needed to focus on more important things.

Her words fall on deaf ears as the desire to kiss her consumes me. I inch closer, but she stops me with her left hand, and I let out a defeated sigh.

"But don't you like me?" I mutter,

Lily gives me a half smile.

"What's there to like?" Lily utters uninterestedly.

It could be the intensity of her gaze or the electric tension that sparks between us, but one thing is certain—even though we are not officially lovers, I am willing to be alone with her anywhere, even in the forbidden forest.

"Maybe I'm going to have to change that," I said, pulling her closer by the waist.

"Be careful where you put your hands, you're defenseless without a wand," Lily warns.

My pulse starts racing the moment I touch her by brushing my hand underneath her tacky school uniform. The overwhelming need to touch and experience more of this ignited inside of me.

"You're a swine, James Potter," Lily says,

I slid my palm up a little higher on her thigh, the heat from her body nearly scorched me through her skin.

"But, I had been patient long enough," I whispered,

Lily's gaze rises to meet mine, and I notice that her eyes are full of curiosity. This expression on her face is not new to me—her longing stare has been obvious ever since we first met on the Hogwarts Express when we were 11 years old.

"Is this really how the famous James Potter is?" Lily whispered.

The anticipation of this moment has been building in my entire being throughout all four years, wanting to share this moment with her, not in the Gryffindor's common room, but in the room of requirements.

"I'm not the kindest wizard, Evans, but for you, I'll change."

Lily gazed at me as if time had frozen still.

"That's not enough for me to—"

I planted a kiss on her lips and ran a hand through her silky red hair, which was exactly as soft as I had anticipated. She tried to move away from me, but I pulled her right leg up, and in the heat of our intimacy, she gave up. I was already practically naked, therefore, it only took a minute for me to let my length out for a fresh breath of air. I've been tied to a tree all day, and honestly, I don't even think anyone would walk in on us. I'm bloody ready to do this in public, right here, right now.

"Please don't continue!" Lily let out, gasping for air while her lips still lightly brushed against mine.

"Please, Evans, let me have you," I begged.

"N—No, the answer is No!"

My heart dropped.

"I'll be gentle, please," I say softly.

"I don't care if you'll be gentle, I don't want to!"

"Mhmm, let's change that," I whispered,

I sag closer, putting my left hand between her legs. Lily gives out a faint gasp at the friction. We crash into each other, my eyes fixed on her expression as she turns to meet my kiss, I tease her opening, finding that sensitive spot with my finger, giving her the right amount of pressure there, swiping my tongue inside her mouth in sync, stroking and rolling my thumb against the deep. She must be more attracted to me than I initially assumed because a minute later, I feel her hand encircling my wizard dick quiver and pulse in her grasp, indicating that I have her exactly where I want her—just on the verge of release. She's aching for more of me.

I mean, it's me, who could resist me?

But instead of surrendering to my touch, she wraps her fingers around my wrist to halt me.

"What're you—"

"You're dead to me, Potter,"

As I watched the stunning Lily transform into Snivellus, something struck me. A mixture of triumph and laughter could be seen on his expressionless, pallid face.

"I win," Severus says,

Before I could respond to him, my teeth rolled along my lower lip.

Were we playing a game together?

I would like to press the "retry" button if such were the case,

If this is how you want to play, Snivellus, then...

Game On.

Chapter 4: S: 0.4 A Distraction?

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

It was that time of year that students from the fourth year advertised themselves to prepare themselves for the Triwizard Tournament, selecting the champions from each school. Good thing for me, that was last year's problem.

James Potter was the favorite in his house, Gryffindor- as he emerged as the champion of the Triwizard Tournament, while Peter Pettigrew was stuck in the second task in The Mirror of Erised maze. No one knows what he saw, but it sure made him happy that he failed the task.

I, for one, did not participate.

Last year, Lily went to the Yule Ball with me. Although James Potter did not confirm it directly, I know that Lily is eagerly waiting for him to ask her to the ball.

Sitting across from Lily, keeping my gaze on her as James, I stared at her for a bit causing her to blush as she hid her pretty face behind her textbook. I smiled softly, as I opened James's textbook, noticing that there was a bookmark marked on page 394. I pushed in James's round glasses to hold it into place as I read the sticky notes on the edge of his textbook.

[The condition is incurable, and he has to live his life as a werewolf.]

[Keep a lookout for full moon updates.]

[Being a werewolf doesn't change the fact that he is my friend.]

"Mister Potter, how do you brew a Wiggenweld potion?" The professor says interrupting me.

I looked around, and Lily's pretty green eyes connected with mine.

"The potion consists of Horklump Juice and Dittany Leaves, Professor." I stuttered.

Lily looked at me, tilting her head in confusion while her eyes bore into mine.

I gasped, as I recognized that look.

James Potter is not stupid and always sounds confident, but she must be suspicious. I need to excuse myself to the bathroom. I hurried to the bathroom and bumped into Remus Lupin, one of James's friends, and also the Prefect of Gryffindor.

"Prongs!" Remus says as he hurries towards me.

Oh no, please don't talk to me!

I don't speak the Marauders language.

"Padfoot, bought this mad-looking suit and even sent out an owl for you to check in on you to see if you wanted anything, but you never responded," Remus says,

I shouldn't speak, I'm not a pro-actor in any way or form, especially that of James Potter.

"Potter!" Lily's voice interrupts.

A grin splits on Remus's face as he elbows me to make a move.

"Ask her to the Yule Ball," Remus whispers, as he pats the top of my left shoulder.

I'm feeling nervous all of a sudden.

"P—Potter, Is something the matter?" Lily asks innocently.

I shake my head in response.

"Have you apologized to Severus for humiliating him yesterday?"

I follow that with another shake.

"You arrogant toerag, you're the reason why he isn't present in potions class, don't you know that's his best subject??-"

"Are you concerned because of his absence?" I uttered,

"Severus had never once missed Potions class, I'm going to check the Slytherin common room, any chance that you might know their password?"

"Pure-blood"..." I whispered,

"Oh, I knew that you would know, you must know all four house passwords, you are after all, last year's Triwizard champion," Lily says sweetly as she pulls me in for a hug, her red hair brushed against my face, as a strand landed on top of my right shoulder.

"But that doesn't mean that I have forgiven you," Lily says as she pulls back.

"Understood," I uttered.

Not wanting to risk being caught transforming back, I quickly made my way to the room behind the fireplace on the second floor of the Faculty Tower, near the Hospital Wing. Using the Invisibility Spell to hide myself because I had to sneak past a few prefects. Remus was in the middle of chatting with Ravenclaw's prefect, Quirinus Quirell.

Finally, after a few minutes, they finally entered the Prefects' bathroom, I was relieved, wondering why they didn't just enter and continue their chat in there where it's totally not weird at all.

As soon as I entered the secret room, I laid out my ingredients and realized that I didn't have enough to make a Polyjuice potion that would last long. I had to use it wisely since it would wear off within an hour. I took Lily's strand of hair and mixed it in and by now, I've returned back to normal.

Lily's searching for me in the Slytherin's common room, I should head there. As soon as I made it to the common room, Lily was in the middle of a conversation with Peter Pettigrew.

Ughh, That Rat.

Although he doesn't start the bullying, he still encourages James and Sirius when they torment me. I'll just send Lily an Owl to not worry her.

It is currently 5 PM and my walk in the forbidden forest was brief. I considered bringing James some food, but upon reflection, I realized that he probably wouldn't have done the same for me had our positions been reversed. The protection spell that I cast over him was already an act of kindness on my part, and I see no reason to submit to him.

Just one mile away from where I had left him, I drank the polyjuice potion and transformed into the beautiful Lily whom we both admire. Having known Lily all my life, I was able to portray her personality accurately. Even her unique laughter, I could manage to replicate perfectly, her tone in speaking, the ways her eyes flutter at the sight of that of James Potter.

I released him from his binding and covered his nearly nude body with his Gryffindor cloak.

I'm not exactly sure how it all started, but while I was talking like Lily would, I felt that I was doing a good job holding her personality in act. I just need to figure out what kind of person James really is and why Lily is so interested in him.

"But don't you like me?" James mutter,

I gave him a half smile.

"What's there to like?" I utter uninterestedly, careful not to reveal who I am.

It didn't take long for me to go into panic mode when James pulled me close.

"Maybe I'm going to have to change that,"

"Be careful where you put your hands, you're defenseless without a wand," I warn him.

Eventually, this scenario escalated into moments that were too disturbing to store into a pensieve, because my body reacted to James Potter's touch when I was in a woman's body, even though I hated him to the point of breaking, there was no stopping my muggle blood from pumping through my veins, causing me to become aroused.

The longer this goes on, the more the potion wears off. I need to escape from him, but I have no control over when I'll transform back. However, since my magic stick has reformed, I know without a doubt that I am returning any second now and I refuse to wear a shameful expression of secondhand embarrassment, especially not one in front of James Potter.

Ultimately, I wrap my left fingers around his wrist to halt him.

"What're you—"

"You're dead to me, Potter,"

As I transformed back into myself, I let out a mixture of triumph and laughter to determine my victory.

"I win," I say,

James was unable to respond to me as he was biting his lower lip. As his dark brow arches, a sinful grin sneaks up on his face without a sound. Trying to avoid thinking about what had just happened between us, I lifted my wand to bring forth the Obliviate spell. Abruptly, James shatters free from my wrist hold and knocks my wand out of my grasp, keeping his hazel eyes on me.

"What's wrong with you, Potter, are you mad?" I say coyly.

Subtly, James pressed his left hand against my half-hardened magic stick, and it made me shudder. Feeling ashamed, I swat his hand away, straightened my posture, and returned him with a glare.

"D–Don't touch me, Potter!" I shouted,

James folds his fingers through my hair, drawing me near until our lips meet. His eyes never leaving mine, and although I made an effort to break away, his hands would always firmly grasp my head, sealing the kiss and making it more intense. It's harsh and vicious; I've always known the Wizard Prince to be haughty, conceited, and a blustery worthless garbage, but now I'm frustrated because I know that my dominant feelings are for Lily and that whatever that is going on is just a teenager's hormones going out of control.

With avaricious kisses, James repeatedly pressed his lips to mine, yanking off my white top and tugging at the gray skirt, causing it to fall to the floor. He only broke from the kiss to pick up my wand, immediately, I felt defenseless.

What is he going to do?

Was that just...

A Distraction?

Chapter 5: J: 0.5 Deleted.

Chapter Text


"What's wrong with you, Potter, are you mad?" Severus says coyly.

The need and desire to put him in his place overtakes me momentarily. I've never imagined my perfect lips meshing with his. Hell, I've never even kissed somebody before, my first, everything was meant to be shared with Lily Evans—only, nobody else. I have every right to be mad, but what's done is done. If he finds this to be something funny, I'm going to do my worst.

This degree of humiliation is something that, should the marauders discover it, will cause chaos. Instead of responding to him verbally, I pressed my left hand against his half-hardened length, and it made him shudder. He smacked my hand away, straightened his back, and gave me the look I expected.

His tough boy glare.

"D–Don't touch me, Potter!" Severus shouted,

I'm not sure if it was the rage that's been building inside of me, but I feel compelled to reach out and touch him, bringing our lips to connect. I kept my eyes fixed on his, and even when he tried to pull away, my hands would always take a firm hold of his head, deepening and intensifying the kiss.

I planted lustful kisses on his lips, pulling off his white shirt and ripping at the gray skirt till it fell on the ground. Earlier, he was attempting to wipe my memories of this incident, which I had knocked out of his hand in response to my anger. Keeping the wand in my viewpoint. I broke the kiss to retrieve the wand.

I realized that the Gryffindor cloak I was wearing was actually mine, which meant that my possessions were still enchanted within my sleeve. I pulled out a small object, and Severus stepped back a bit while I waved his wand over it and used the extension charm to reveal the tent.

"The ministry of magic forbids the usage of—"

"Giving me a lecture, are you, Snivellus?"

Taking a step toward him, I plant a hand on either side of his hips, my left hand sliding underneath his right thigh.

"What are you doing, Potter?" Severus says emotionlessly.

I don't respond, I just lift him up and enter the tent, bringing him towards the nearest comforter, which is a couch. His little guy twitches against my stomach at my belly button, and his pale ghostly face turns completely red.

I mean, I'm not in love with him, obviously, but my body functions. It's just an experiment.

I'm confident that things will return to normal and that this will not last for long; all I need to do is cast the obliviate spell on him before he can cast it on me.

Severus quivers a bit when I touch him, and those tiny tremors give off an air of power that I radiate. I'm not sure what it is about Severus, but something inside of me flicked a switch, giving me a sense of authority and control that only I have. All I know is that I'm truly enjoying the view beneath me.

"Spread your legs, Snivellus," I murmur.

Leaning forward, I tear off my already drenched boxer, and my large length springs out, Severus shakes his head as his eyes acknowledge that I am the one in triumph, not him.

"Give me back my wand, Potter," Severus demanded.

A grin splits across from my face as I measure his wand next to my wizard dick.

"13.5 inches, unicorn hair," I whispered,

Severus's back slid down from the couch and trembled, as I leaned in and pressed my lips against his, shifting his legs apart so I could examine his anatomy.

In the wizarding world, there's no such thing as what muggles call condoms.

The head of my shaft pokes between his crease, and impatiently, I glide one finger inside of his opening.

"P—Potter!" Severus rasped.

"Yes," I respond.

Severus looks at me, our eyes-connected momentarily.

"We shouldn't!" Severus says,

It was impossible for me to stop now, so I drew him in closer, pressed two fingers into my mouth, and then entered them inside of him.

As my fingers probed into his hole, a low groan escaped his throat.

"P—Potter, I surrender," Severus blurts out.

"Is that how you apologize in Slytherin?" I say, twisting my finger till I think there's just enough moisture inside of him to allow me to push through.

"Wh—What about you, do you even know how to utter an apology?" Severus breathes.

A smile appeared on my face as I shifted our positions so that he could sit on top of me. It was incredible to watch as he trembled and bit down on his bottom lip, nearly in agony, as I inserted my enormous broomstick inside of him.

"P—Potter, you swine!"

In any other situation, I wouldn't handle it well. Though certainly not romantic, I would be lying if I said that this didn't feel fantastic. I've never dreamed of this, and if it were a dream, I'd much rather stay sleeping than wake up.

I looked up at him expecting him to give me more insults, but his eyes locked onto mine. He doesn't move, despite having me inside of him. I pull back, only enough to slide all the way releasing slow thrusts. Every movement rewards me with a point to the Gryffindor house.

"Snivellus," A low growl rolls out from me.

"What?" Severus responds irritatedly.

My hips start to move on their own initiative, instinctively drawing back and slamming into him. Our pace quickens, and the only sounds that fill the tent are our labored breathing and the smacking of skin against skin. The sounds leaving in between Severus's mouth, only make me want to torment him in this manner more.

"Take this as an apology, from Gryffindor's Prince Charming," I spewed.

Severus's chest bumps into my face with each thrust, and because his sweaty pale skin is right in front of me, I run my lips and tongue over his rib cage, making my way to his hardened pink nipples.

"Y—You swine, apologize properly!" Severus rasps angrily.

I'm moving at an absolutely vicious rate right now, grinding and smashing as I position my hips. The pale white snake started berating me with a barrage of insults, and after giving me a well-needed vent about how much he hates me and lecturing me about our curfew, all of that simply made me pound inside of him harder and faster until his words turned into uncontrollable sounds.

That's better, that's all that I need to hear right now. If I had my wand, I would seize this moment surreptitiously and store his gasps and moans in a pensieve.

My climax is about to release, I had least expected it. However, the way he's yelling at me to pull out only makes me want to stay inside of him and let my wizardly seed burst inside of him without feeling bad at all.

"P—Potter, you Swine!" Severus screams,

Watching him disclose all of these weird yet interesting sides of emotions when he's lost in pleasure, remembering the lines and planes of his facial expressions while he's blurting out nonsense while his delicate body is drenched in sweat, opened up a soft spot in me for all that I've done to him, but apologizing properly just isn't me.

I just can't do that.

I keep looking at him, and I find myself dragging his face in close to give him another passionate kiss. My broom spontaneously rose back up as my eyes slowly opened, I grasped his soft erection, which is half the size of mine, cupping it between my fingers. Rubbing both of our Nimbus sticks together, in slow, rhythmic pacing as I eagerly wait for Severus to climax. I feel liquid leaking from the tip of his broomstick as I allow his tiny arms to wrap over my shoulders as I fall back down on the couch. As I continued rubbing his against mine haphazardly, my tongue tasted every inch of his mouth.

And moments later, he finally climaxed.

He just lets out a loud gasp on top of me as he collapses onto me. I slide out from beneath him, and he gets off me right away. This tent has a small restroom on the second floor that I charmed. I'm not his boyfriend, so I'm not going to hold his hand, but I encouraged him to take a bath with me. Severus hesitantly followed behind me, picking up his wand from the side of the couch, he kept it pointed at me as he charmed out his Slytherin cloak to cover himself up.

"Really?" I commented.

Without a word, Severus walks past me, ascends the spiral staircase, and peruses every room. I chuckled as I leaned over his left shoulder and whispered to him where the bathroom was located.

He quickly turns left and turns on the faucet, as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I followed him into the bathroom and added natural cinnamon oil to the water to create a scent.

I then approached him from behind and removed his Slytherin cloak.

"P—Potter!" Severus yells,

"There's no reason to be shy," I whispered firmly.

"I'm...not...shy," Severus stutters back.

I dragged him into the bathtub and poured his head with water with a bath scoop spoon. Instantly, he starts fighting for the bath spoon, and as a means of defeat, I let him have it finding amusem*nt in this. I watched as he poured the lukewarm water over his pale skin. The longer I watched, the more I wanted to go for another round.

I pulled him close, and his back touched my chest.

"Snivellus, I know that I lose control of the things that I say, but why don't we talk, wizard to wizard," I say,

Severus doesn't necessarily roll his eyes, but the way that he reacted certainly felt that way.

"You want to talk wizard to wizard, naked in your downgraded version of the prefects laboratory?" Severus says emotionless.

I chuckled.

"Is that a compliment in Slytherin?" I jest.

"An insult, really." Severus says slowly.

A rather weak one.

My stomach growls in evidence that I haven't eaten all day.

"You're really cruel, leaving me in the forbidden forest all defenseless without my wand and not even bothering to bring me a snack on your way back." I say,

"You have a kitchen inside of this tent," Severus says,

I pulled him in, held him inside of my arms and shake my head.

"I'm starving, I could've died,"

Severus narrowed his eyes as he removed my arms from holding him.

"Then, I'd prepare your funeral," Severus says annoyed,

"Wow, that is actually so mean,"I murmur, pulling him in again.

"I'm not the one that took advantage of someone, you swine."

I laugh, he believes that he is almost blameless in this situation, unable to contain the faint smirk that is starting to grow, I kiss behind his left shoulder.

"Can I leave a mark, Snivellus?" I whispered.

"Only if I could leave a bigger one on you in return," Severus says flat.

I get a sense that the bigger mark he leaves on me will gain him victory. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't lose to him over such trivial matters. Letting him go, I let out a sigh.

"I won't leave one then," I say.

Severus gives me a half smile.

"Why? Thus, it appears as though this occurrence never took place, correct?"

Why is he speaking to me in that uninterested manner?

I get that he's in the enemy's house, but other Slytherins don't speak in that manner. It must be his way of irritating me. Because no Gryffindor speaks like that, and I know this because I was put in the proper house because I'm brave and daring. I take pride in my ability.

"Earlier you were trying to use the obliterate spell to erase my memories of what occurred earlier when you showed an awful display of Lily Evans," I say,

"You can't say that it was awful, you were all over me, you fell for it," Severus corrects me,

I laugh.

"Sure, I admit it, but why would you erase only my memories, wouldn't it be better if we erased it together?" I suggest,

Indecision is written all over his face, but I could see that he's seriously considering it.

"Okay, as soon as I return your wand, Potter, on a count of three, we say the spell together, and all that's happened here will cease to exist."

I nodded in response.

"Then let's make a deal, Potter," Severus says firmly.

His eyes flash to mine.

"It would only be fair that way, right?"

I agree with another nod.

With a soft smile on his face, he scoops up some water with the bath spoon and pours it over me. As we resume our bath, I feel as though this moment feels stolen, as this memory is meant to be...


Chapter 6: S: 0.6 Purebloods

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

"So...are we going to return to the castle, or are we going to camp out here and risk getting suspended?" James says, having effortlessly charmed a brand-new uniform over his nude body at the time.

Being caught with him alone is the last thing on my mind.

What would the marauders think?

No, obliviate that train of thought, who cares what they think, what would Lily think?

Should I warn her about Potter's monster stick?

No, then she would just be suspicious of us. I put my clothes on like a normal wizard would.

"Let's just go, I am the epitome of Gryffindor."

Wow, does he hear himself?

Imagine the early exchanges between Potter and Black in a 2.5D muggle throwback fighting game, and imagine what their dialogue may be like.

[Select your character]

Player One. "James Potter,"

Player Two. "Sirius Black,"

In the first round, James walks toward Sirius and says his signature dialogue,

"Padfoot, for the title of Inflated Ego, let's duel,"

Sirius looks aside, and chuckles sharply,

"No need to duel, you're already looking at him, Prongs "

"You've gone mental," James responds,

I couldn't help but grin at the dialogue in exchange.

If I were a playable character, I would approach the arena slowly with my textbook, memorizing the combat spells that I've worked up to bring me up to this moment.

"The marauders disgust me, but you two disgust me more." I say slowly.

Rather than reflecting my first blow during the introduction, James, utilizes his reflection spell to study himself in the mirror. Additionally, he gives the side of his dark hair a quick hair flip.

"Awh, Snivellus, you're no fun; need some advice to become more handsome?"

Sirius Black supports James Potter, and I'll wait for the player to make their decision before choosing an ally.

"What are you thinking of?"

The sound of his voice brings me back, making my stomach turn. His eyes are once again fixed on me, almost as if he's interrogating me.

"Ready to forget this incident permanently as if it never happened?" James says softly,

We may be able to wipe the memories, but the fact that I lost my virginity to that beast remains, which is why I'm hesitant, even though we both consented to having the events forgotten, that reality still stands.

"Yeah, let's head back, but you go first," I murmur, sliding my eyes away from his gaze.

"Probably should return back my wand, Snivellus,"

I don't know why I don't want to return his wand to him, maybe it's because it feels like a victory just having it in my possession.

But I don't care much about having it either.

However, I still procrastinated returning it. After James charmed his tent back to it's original size using my wand. I undo the protection spell, and the night air brushes against our skin. After walking down just a mile down, A phoenix's cry can be heard.

"It's Fawkes," James says,

James immediately ran toward the sound, and I had no other choice but to follow him quickly, and all of a sudden, giant spiders surrounded me. I looked up and staggered uncomfortably, but before I could even flinch, someone appeared in front of me and cast a stupefying spell to stun the giant spiders.

I could tell by the moonlight on his cloak that he was a member of my house and someone I greatly respected.

Lucius Malfoy.

"You alright, Severus?" Lucius says softly.

"How did you..." I uttered,

"Miss Evans searched everywhere for you,"

"Don't tell me that she's also in the forbidden forest," I panicked.

Lucius shakes his head, as he puts his left hand out for me to grab it.

"Let's go back to the castle, Severus. I'll protect you,"

I place my hand over his, and immediately he pulls me up. His gray eyes examined me as he leaned over to give me a sniff.

"You smell, different." Lucius says,

"It's a uh-"

"The smell of Gryffindor," Lucius utters,

I take a step back and cast lumos while I go quickly ahead of him. Not responding to what he had just said. We're not too far from the woodland lake that the centaurs haven't been able to access. Colorful butterflies flew over bushes, and unicorns stayed in plain sight.

"Careful, Severus, come now, this way," Lucius says, grabbing me by the left arm.

I feel bad for letting James out of sight from me without a wand; he's not going to die, is he?

My mind is replaying every event that has transpired between us. In a sense, even if he passes away, those memories would accompany him, provided that no one gathers a teardrop from him.

After traveling a few more miles in, an Entrance Floo Flame comes into sight. Lucius grabs hold of my hand and forces us both into the small, stone-filled compartment.

"It's a little claustrophobic." I complained,

"Severus, bear with it," Lucius says,

We soon found ourselves much further from our starting point, in the Troll Lair, southwest of the North Ford Bog Entrance. A big troll strode around on the wide plain, and Lucius covered my mouth with his left hand to keep me silent. I nodded in response, as Lucius slowly plodded behind from tree to tree. When it was safe, he lit up his wand with a lumos, and I followed the same sequence as a means to catch up to him.

As I crept silently from tree to tree, I tripped over a branch and started to panic. Lucius peered to check to see if the troll heard me, but I was in luck, as I made the last run, I tripped and my wand rolled out from my fingers.

"No!" I mouthed in silence,

Huge footprints approached me, and I saw as the trolls grew in number and circled about me. I quickly shifted my legs to get my wand and pointed it at the round troll.

Lucius shook his head as he lunged at the larger one, that was a bit more masculine, as he stepped into their circle to stand back to back with me.

I feel so pathetic and awful, embarrassment isn't even close to what I'm feeling.

The smaller troll suddenly crumbled its fingers around my torso, suffocating me while I made every effort to struggle free. I'm not getting better at aiming my wand and can't even cast a proper spell.

Colors flared from below as Lucius attempted to use Diffindo to release me, severing the troll's wrist in two while it bled terribly.

As I slid out of the hand grip, the trolls around me took a step back. I fall into Lucius's arms and his gaze settles on me.

"I'm sorry, I'm clumsy," I stammered.

"Even after I've taken you under my wing, this is how you reward me?" Lucius says furious.

I tried to escape from Lucius's hold, but he held onto me tighter.

"Lucius..." I mutter his name.

Something crosses his expression that I can't quite place, but I have no right to question him.

"Why are you out in the forbidden forest in the first place?" Lucius asks,

I leave that question to hang in the air as I think of James Potter, keeping my thoughts of him to a minimum.

"Answer me," Lucius says,

"It's not important," I uttered,

"Is it the Marauders doing?" Lucius asks with a more serious tone,

"It's not them, it's me," I confessed,

"So, is that why I bumped into that Stag on my way to you?" Lucius says,

I focus my gaze on what he had just said and tried to use caution when responding to him. Lucius began walking us down a forest path, and the closer we were getting to the castle, the more anxiety rises up within me in regarding to James Potter, The Stag.

"Is he okay?" I say, sounding a bit too concerning about his well being, before making things awkward, I tried to get down from Lucius's hold again.

"He's more than okay, he's back at the castle already," Lucius says,

As my feet stepped foot on the ground, I let out a sigh of relief.

Because we were close in range, Lucius charmed out his Nimbus 1001. He sat up front and encouraged me to sit behind him.
But I was too embarrassed by the proximity from earlier.

"It's okay, I'll go on foot," I kindly declined.

Lucius immediately reverts his broom to disappear, and I stare at him, confused.

"Why did you-" I uttered,

"I'll go on foot with you," Lucius says,

I'm so astonished that I am unable to respond to that, someone as prominent as Lucius Malfoy shouldn't dirty his feet, hands, or wand. Being the perfection of the Slytherin house, I feel so small compared to him.

Trotting behind Lucius, we passed the quidditch arena. Lucius doesn't talk throughout the walk, as I expected, I also stay silent, doing my best not to annoy him with my mere presence. Soon, we reached the entrance to the firebolt gates to get inside of Howarts, the time is now 9:52 PM, we've made it just in time before curfew. The quickest way to get to the Slytherin's common room was to use floo powder.

There's one right by flying class, Lucius and I both use the invisibility spell to cast us in case we get caught, seeing as there are only three minutes left to 10 PM.

When we reached the floo compartment. I hinted that he should go first, but like in the forbidden forest, he pulls me in and in we both go.

As we made it to the other end, Lucius lured me in and invited me to a secret room. Since I am in my fifth year and Lucius was no longer a student at Hogwarts, I didn't want to get caught. And so, again, I kindly declined him.

"You wound me, Severus," Lucius whispers,

"Oh, sorry," I muttered.

There's a pause before a smile spreads across his face.

"If you're sorry, then become a Death Eater."

"...I'm grateful for the invitation, but-"

Something about him changes the second that he pulls me in for a kiss. Lucius is currently 22, therefore, the invisible spell is still intact. I pull away, but he leans in and retakes my lips.

"Wh-What are you doing!?" I snapped.

Tension builds up in my stomach, making me uncertain if this is still the same wizard that I respect.

"I know what happened between you and that Stag," Lucius says,

"What's that supposed to mean?" I say slowly.

"Mhmm, it means that I'm tired of waiting for you to turn 18,"


"Lucius, you've gone completely mad, aren't you mudblood racist? or have you really lost it? Do I have to re-identify myself before you take things way too far?" I let out.

Lucius presses a kiss to my forehead, and I'm unaware of what my reaction should be, it's so sudden.

Not that my feelings for Lily had changed, or that James had become some kind of respected wizard as a result of our earlier incident. But, this is Lucius Malfoy, had I lost my virginity to him, instead, would things had been different?

No, it doesn't change the fact that he's still a man.

"Choosing you, I can't lie, it would shatter my pride, you being... a half-blood and all, but I've thought about it, and I can't change how I feel about you, I know that whatever you and that Stag did back there was just a stress relief, every word I say is true, so let me demonstrate what lovers do,"

His remarks make me picture exactly how he would have treated me if he had been in James situation from earlier. I can't determine if I should accept his confession or just continue to be his devoted disciple.

In any case, he will still need to wait two years.

"Good night, Lucius,"

"Really? That's all?"

A disappointed look appears on his face.

"For now," I say,

"And how long should I wait for your response?" Lucius says.

"When you find a time turner and turn it up two years," I say,

Lucius arched a brow.

"Good night, Lucius," I say again.

I head to my dorm, and as soon as I get to my bed, I notice that my nightstand has a stack of owls that are probably from Lily.

I smile as I sort through them.

Three are from Lucius, asking me where my location is.

My eyes gaze at his letter and lay back down as I think about the future. My life is kind of boring, just the idea of being with someone with such importance to their name terrifies me. But the same applies to James Potter.



Chapter 7: J: 0.7 What!?

Chapter Text


Following a mere mile of walking, we hear the cry of a phoenix.

"It's Fawkes," I assumed.

Albus Dumbledore's pet phoenix, that means that the headmaster must've been told that we're missing.

I dashed toward the sound, wondering if he had already dispatched The Keepers on a search party for us. Centaurs trotted nearby, avoiding my presence. I turned back and realized that I was all by myself. The trail back towards where I last charmed my tent is at least 0.8 miles away from where I currently am.

I know that I can survive in this forbidden forest alone, heck, I survived last year's Triwizard tournament. But I'd be dumbstruck to best believe that Severus stood a chance. All the while, I'm debating if I should head back for him because he brought me here in the first place.

I thought maybe if I just stayed where I was, he would eventually catch up, so I made the decision to wait for him by resting against a big tree. After a few minutes, I heard footsteps approaching, assuming that it was Snivellus, from the remains of the moonlight casting from this distance. Snivellus not only failed to give up my wand, but he also managed to keep my glasses after his shoddy demonstration of my presence earlier.

However, from my vantage point, I could see that the person approaching was a Slytherin by the green on their cloak.

When he had finally made it close enough to me, he pointed his wand at me.

"What are you doing out at this hour, Potter?"

Even at this close range, I recognized this man to be Lucius Malfoy. He is a pureblood like me, but because he is the patriarch of the illustrious Malfoy family, he was raised differently and doesn't appreciate mudbloods.

Although I don't know him well, he seems arrogant, unpredictable, and biased from the surface. His immense status sets him apart from other wizards, thus even if our statuses are the same, I am currently sensing his disdain.

In all actuality, this is the first time that he has ever made contact with me.

"Did the Keepers send you?" I ask,

With a scowl, Lucius revealed his wand to me. A few more people in cloaks surrounded me. In total, there were at least 6 of them, 7, including Lucius. Everyone concealed their identity with ugly white masks over their faces.

"Join us, Potter," Lucius says,

I scanned my surroundings and took a step back. Each of them surrounded me blocking any possible way of escaping.

"W—What is this, an occult?" I say,

"Expelliarmus!" A woman's voice shouted, fortunately, I was defenseless.

"He doesn't have a wand on him!" She whispered to the person next to her.

"This shall be easy," The man next to her says,

Lucius put his left hand up as he came behind me and placed his hand on top of my right shoulder.

"You're despicable, Potter," Lucius says stern. "But allow me to introduce ourselves, we're called, death eaters,"

The entire occult members expressed joy clapping their hands as Lucius suddenly pushed me to the ground, my face falling flat on the ground.

"I don't know what the Dark lord sees in you, but you are below me, do you hear?" Lucius says.

Rounds of applause resume in a mixture of giggles and wands out.

I never claimed to be superior than him, so I'm not sure why he is so furious with me.

"But since you're wandless and defenseless, this method is unnecessary, all you need to do is agree," Lucius says,

I stayed on the ground as his right foot stepped on my back going over how I was a disgrace to the purebloods for even associating with the rest of the marauders. Each member made their comment one by one admitting that I needed discipline. Lucius's feet get off of me only to kick me to roll on the dirt even more.

"Usually, we duel with each potential member," Lucius says, "to validate their worthiness, but you?"

I coughed out a mixture of bile and mucus since I starved all day.

"You're beyond pathetic, Potter," Lucius says,

I grabbed the soil from the filthy ground and turned around splattering it into his eyes, angering him. Two of the members in cloaks grabbed a hold of my arms and another performed Wingardium Leviosa, levitating me, until Lucius was able to clear the dust from his eyes. As soon as the spell wore off, upon my fall, I aimed a punch to Lucius's face.

"Hold him!" Lucius says angrily,

The two grabbed me again and this time Lucius didn't say anything instead he pointed his wand at my forehead.

"I don't know what's going on in your mind, you're a quick thinker, aren't you? Pardon my intrusion, Legilimens!" Lucius shouted,

My mind flashed back to today's events, revealing to Lucius what had transpired in the Forbidden Forest. Being wandless, I could not use the occlumency spell to keep my thoughts from disclosing what happened earlier, therefore I was powerless to stop his Legilimency.

"Potter, You..." Lucius spoke in utter shock.

"I what?" I swallowed.

"Where is he?" Lucius's tone in speaking shifts to concern.

"I don't know." I breathed.

"Hold him off and after 20 minutes if I don't return, torment him until he has to crawl his way back to Hogwarts," Lucius says,

"But he's wandless, it's hardly even fair," A man's voice from the circle's edge remarks.

"Just do what you're told," Another voice followed.

I feel a firm grip on both of my arms as Lucius disappears from view. There were no clouds in the sky, and not a single star. They conversed with one another on my value to the Dark Lord during the course of the 20-minute wait.

A small light strung up from the distance, resembling the tip of someone's Lumos.

"Who goes there?" One of the death eaters says,

"Dolohov, you go and check it out," The woman on my right says,

"Geez, why do I have to dirty my hands," Dolohov says, turning to the man next to me.

"Nott, let one of the ladies hold Mister Potter, while you assist me," Dolohov says,

"Rosier, assist Lestrange"

I swallowed, as I recognized their names. They were related to Sirius, my friend.

Nott and Dolohov glided toward the light as soon as Rosier grabbed hold of me.

Only the remainder, two of whom are witches, and the other two, wizards,.

"Babysitting Potter, how boring," Lestrange complained.

"If you're so bored, then why won't you just play with him?" The medium-sized man says,

It was clear that she cast the Oppugno charm to guide the hooded man toward me to assault me without actually saying the spell aloud. But the moment the ladies released their hold on me, I started running.

Instantly, they got on their brooms and flew over me directing stupefy to stun me, one was cruel enough to emit a confringo, sending a bolt of flame at me, I rolled down from a slope hill rolling into the dry leaves breathing this all in as I calmly transformed into my Animagus form.

The stag.

The death eaters halted their quest for me as they searched thoroughly.

"We lost him!" The man screams,

"It's because you let loose a fireball," Rosier says,

"I did not intend to strike him with it! That was only a minor scare; he is a Pureblood, and as a Gryffindor, he is renowned for his bravery."

"Malfoy's going to get mad once he finds out," The other man says,

"Hush, it doesn't matter we'll just say that we gave him a good beating and that he peed his pants crawling his way back to Hogwarts as Malfoy requested." Rosier says,

I'm a stag now, they won't be suspicious of me since I blend in with the other wild beasts. But just as I go further down, a Crucio was aimed at me.

"What the hell are you doin?" The man says,

"Oh, it's just a stag, there are hundreds of them, it should be glad I didn't kill it with one go," Lestrange says,

"It could've been someone's father," The man sighs,

"Oh Mulciber, you weak link, get over it." Lestrange says,

I suffocated slowly as the death eaters swooped away on their brooms.

The same consequences applied, even though I was a huge stag, as I retreated in misery from the torturous torment and continued to absorb damage until I transformed back into the attractive wizard that I am, I made my way back to Hogwarts without much difficulty just barely to the front entrance. Professor Sprout witnessed my arrival, having her plants brought in. Madam Poppy Pomfrey was informed right away, in a few exchanges of words between the two staff ladies, I collapsed.

The Marauders were at my left side as I awoke and not the kind where they're waiting for me to wake up from my slumber. The kind where they're in their own hospital bed as well.

"Should I even ask?" I say,

"You think you're the only brave one, Prongs?" Sirius says,

"What gives?" I respond,

"You disappeared after Potions class, and Snivellus was absent, Evans was extremely upset thinking that you did something to him,"

I did do something to him, but it's a secret, I'm going to keep.

"Tell me how you fools manage to be in your current state looking like you almost died," I say,

"We looked everywhere for you at every floo powder entrance through and through and as it grew dark we discovered that you might've ended up in the forbidden forest and so we decided to look for you there," Remus says,

"And then it happened..." Peter says seriously,

"What?" I say,

"I transformed into a werewolf, and Padfoot, into a black dog."

"That's not new?" I say softly,

"Yes, but this is, as I was with my wand, lighting up my Lumos, suddenly two scary man in hooded cloaks surrounded me, it, Moony has no control when he goes in that state and so he started attacking aggressively, Padfoot had the man on the left, and Moony, the man on the right, and I quivered in fear, transforming into my Animagus, as I flee away," Peter explains.

I gazed at Sirius and Remus who both had their arms and legs bandaged. But Peter was still in one piece, barely a scratch or bruise on him acting like he almost died.

"Then why are you here?" I say bluntly.

"Emotional trauma," Peter utters breathlessly.

I lay back down pulled the blankets over me and asked the one question that's been on my mind.

"Did Evans bother to visit me?" I ask.

"No, she's bloody mad at you!" Peter exclaims,

"Oh, because I'm the reason why her best friend missed out on potions class," I sighed,

"That- and because you never asked her to the Yule Ball yesterday like you promised to, last year!"

I let out another sigh.

"Right, the Yule Ball is in one week, I still have time," I say,

Meanwhile... Professor McGonagall steps inside of the hospital wing and tells us to get our baths and get properly dressed, the headmaster would like to see us in his office.

With crutches, everyone hopped to their feet, and Peter was able to walk comfortably on both feet. We raced each other to the bathroom, taking off our clothes as we hurried to the Gryffindor male bathroom.

Diving into the bathroom, we relaxed as we talked about girls from the other houses. Our conversations shift from house girls to identifying purebloods from half-bloods to mudbloods.

"It's simple, our rod is bigger," Sirius says,

"Padfoot, we're naked here," Remus says,

"Speaking of which, Wormtail, what are you?" I asked,

Peter immediately covered his genital area as all of our eyes looked down at him.

"D—Does that minor detail really matter?" Peter stutters,

"Not really, but I hear that muggles are really small," Sirius says,

We laughed together; we didn't know Peter's parents' history, but we didn't care; no matter what, that wouldn't change our friendship.

I just know that these handsome wizards are my friends and that's all that matters. I feel as though the death eaters are all formed of purebloods just by how they introduced themselves, but since Sirius is also injured, I don't want to presume that he knows anything about them.

Everyone charmed their uniforms over their nude bodies once we finished washing up, but with a towel over my waist, I went to the men's dormitory to change into regular clothing.

"Where's your wand?" Sirius asks.

"I just misplaced it," I respond.

Remus doesn't question it, Peter look at me with curiosity but keeps quiet. We were to meet Dumbledore in his office. As I strode across the cobblestone courtyard, I noticed Snivellus and Lily seated together, presumably reviewing the textbook from potion class and the tasks from the previous afternoon. She has no idea that I was the one who missed that lesson. In any case, it is highly expected to see them together, which is why I singled out Snivellus. On the other hand, it's really rather pitiful. It used to hurt to watch how comfortable it was for Lily to grasp his hand and rest on his shoulder since I'm so in love with her.

"Should I wingardium leviosa his ass?" Sirius says,

"No, use stupefy! Because he's stupid-haha!" Peter says,

I paused in my tracks as I shake my head.

"Why not? Is it because you don't have your wand on you?" Sirius says,

"You could use mine, it would honor," Peter says, pulling out his wand from his sleeve.

"Let's not waste time here, Dumbledore's waiting for us," I say,

I walked ahead, Remus trailed following me, followed by Peter and Sirus.

Suddenly, I hear the sound of a wand releasing a silent spell. I turned back and saw that Sirius let loose an Expecto Patronum. Lily shielded Severus with her Protego, as she glares in our direction.

"What the hell was that!?" I snapped,

"Just learned a new spell, I had to test it out on something," Sirius says,

Peter laughed uncontrollbly as he pointed his fingers at Snivellus.

"Did you see the look on his fugly face!? Ahaha!" Peter laughs,

"Respectively, he's more handsome than you are, Wormtail," Remus says,

Now, I'm the one that's laughing.

"Enough, let's go." I say,

Nearly approaching the headmaster's office entrance door, an angry Lily Evans stood in front of us and blocked our entrance.

"James Potter!" Lily screams,

"Miss me, Evans?" I answered,

"Leave Severus alone, mind you!"

This sort of interaction between us is the closest to getting her to notice me or to even begin a conversation with me, however, I didn't do anything today, and so I politely dismissed her.

"Talk to you later, Evans," I say, as I stand with my friends around the big monument of the bird, atop the rotating staircase.

Standing in close proximity with the headmaster made all of us silent, including Peter.

"Good morning, children, I'm glad you woke up. How are you all feeling?" Dumbledore spoke.

"I'm wonderful, headmaster," Peter answered,

"Just fine," Remus says softly.

"I'm great," Sirius says confidently.

"I'm okay," I respond.

Dumbledore examines us one by one with his old aged wizard eyes and then he brings over to me, what looks to be my wand.

"Looks like you left something behind, Potter,"

I gladly retrieved my wand back and smiled, and thanked him as politely as I could.

"Is there a reason why we're all brought here?" Sirius asks, cutting to the chase.

Dumbledore nods as he paces back and forth in front of us.

"You are in great danger, you and Potter both,"

"Then, what am I doing here?" Peter asks bluntly,

"No reason, you're simply accompanying your friends,"

The introduction of a dark wizard was mentioned to be wary of him, his loyalists were the Death Eaters. They are a lethal and dangerous force since they are made up of radical and evil witches and wizards who utilize Dark magic carelessly. They were also known for their violence, cruelty, and fanaticism.

I know this much, I've experienced it firsthand.

After telling us in full detail not to join them no matter what, and just before we're about to head out, Dumbledore goes to say.

"50 points taken off from each of you from Gryffindor for being out in the forbidden forest,"

"That's 200 points!" Sirius shouted,

"But, I'm a Prefect, is there any way you could reconsider?" Remus says,

"Very well then, no points taken away, but a week of suspension,"

"S—Suspension, what about the Triwizard tournament, even though we aren't participating, we could still attend and watch it right?" Peter says,

"I'm afraid not," Dumbledore says softly.

"What about the Yule Ball, can we attend?" I ask,

"With legs like yours, you should be recovering in the hospital wing," Dumbledore says,

"I don't understand, students go in and out of the forbidden forest all the time—it's simply just not fair!" Peter screams,

"Students go into the forbidden forest with keepers and other chaperones who know their way inside and out of the forest, you are dismissed."

"What about Severus Snape of Slytherin?" I blurted,

At first, I considered protecting him but my anger got the better of me.

"What about him, Potter?" Dumbledore says,

"He was in the forbidden forest too!" I let out angrily.

"Oh? Severus Snape, that young lad is a Keeper apprentice at this time, he's pardoned."

He's ....


Chapter 8: S: 0.8 Do I?

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

In the great hall, I usually sit back to back with Lily. The owls brought in the letters as usual, I didn't write one, as I casually brushed my back against Lily.

"Mhmm, Sev!" Lily says, as her left elbow nudges me as her head leans back against my shoulder blade.

"I received your letters," I say,

"Yet, you had all evening last night to write back and you didn't," Lily pouted,

Silence falls over us then, the only sounds coming from the professors and the headmaster adding points to Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. The pastries available were plenty, and there was no rule when it was a good or bad time to indulge.

"I was busy," I say softly.

"Busy, just being alone?" Lily says,

I smile.

Once every house was dismissed, I handed the headmaster James's wand, his impression was that I must've used Expelliarmus to retrieve it to defend myself. Most, if not all of the staff at Hogwarts are aware of the way that James Potter bully me, next to Sirius Black.

Even though Sirius Black and I both work at the three broomsticks once in a while, he doesn't do it for the pay, he does it for the extra credit classes that he skips out on.

Lily and I head to the cobblestone hall together. Sitting together, going over the assignments from last night's potions class, I listened to her as I admired her beauty.

In between laughter and giggles, I don't even know what was funny or not yet even if there were no laughter exchanged, we can simply exist together, enjoying each other's company.

While Lily is demonstrating how to crack a nut to me, I can't help but think of James Potter. Just as I'm looking up, the Marauders appear. Pretending not to see them, I try to look away. I voluntarily let Lily rest her head on my left shoulder. James's almond eyes glanced over to briefly look at us. He's probably going to pretend like nothing happened because he's with his friends, one night of what occurred last night isn't going to change someone as arrogant as James Potter.

Lily's wand was in between her fingers, ready at hand in case something happened to us, To me, primarily, her gaze was steady. James pretended not to see us as he continued forward, his friends following him like opulent courtesies, but the final one unleashed an assault spell, Lily shielded us as she got up and rushed after them, following behind her, the path that they're taking was the same path leading to the headmaster's office.

"Lily, wait, it's a misunderstanding, Potter didn't-" I stammered,

"I don't care that Potter didn't do it, it doesn't matter who did it, Potter leads, and his friends obeys his commands, Severus,"

Lily reminds me in full detail about how I've been treated all of this time and how she doesn't like how I just take it. My mind traces back to unwanted events of what transpired last night, making me feel absolutely pathetic. Why was I unable to prevent that from happening? Even though James had my wand, it's not like I didn't have his wand.

Why am I just thinking about this now?

Wait, we were completely stripped naked, and upon revealing his massive size, I wanted my wand back so that I could cast the reducio spell on it to make it smaller. But it all just happened so quickly and suddenly, that even though my mind told me no, my body was curious all at the same time. It's disgusting, I must find alone time with James and obliviate that incident altogether.

Being so lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize that Lily had already confronted the Wizard Prince in full anger blocking their entrance to the headmaster's office.

"James Potter!" Lily screams,

"Miss me, Evans?" James answered,

"Leave Severus alone, mind you!" Lily says, lowering her wand.

With a sly smile, James shoved her wand away and headed up the spiral staircase. I wait until the stairs have gone all the way up before acting on impulse. I quickly snatch Lily by the arm and tell her that James won't ask her out if she keeps defending me and acting in that manner. Lily didn't like what I had just said, so she walked away without saying anything.

"I can't speak for Potter, Lily, but I just want you to let things happen on their own, I'm asking you as a friend, to not intervene...when the marauders be little me, just let it pass, I can take care of myself,"

The tension between us feels unsettling like a strange sort of broken connection. It's just, I truly don't want to remain as Lily's shadow, I want to stand beside her, next to her, and shine with her. But, I've already accepted her feelings for the Wizard Prince. There's no other possibility of us, being an item, ever.

"Would you like to accompany me to the Yule Ball this year, Sev?" Lily inquires.

"But I'm not, Potter," I say slowly.

"It's only you who knows all of my sides, with Potter, I have to pretend to not like him so that he would notice me, it's all so exhausting, plus I can be myself with you!" Lily remarks,

"Honestly, you don't have to try so hard, Lily," I whispered,

A small grin pulls at her lips.

"Are you just saying that- or..."

I chuckled.

"I mean it," I say,

"From your viewpoint what is my best features, Sev," Lily twirls and spins around to look at me.

"Your eyes," I admit.

Lily frowns and raises an eyebrow at me.

"What would James Potter say?" Lily asks,

"Mmm, your strong demeanor,"

Silence brushes over us again, but this is a comfortable silence that I can live with.

Lily's existence is inexplicable, like the touch of a feather, so how could I blame someone else if they fall in love with her in a matter of seconds?

We soon go to our Charms lesson, then move on to Herbology and Potions, and after that it's study hall, lunch, and after lunch Lily has

Transfiguration class whereas I have Defense Against the Dark Arts.


I receive owl letters from James Potter and Lucius Malfoy each morning. I only open them when I'm by myself, like in the laboratory or a secret passageway, to avoid embarrassing myself in front of everyone else in the great hall. Even though they're not love letters, I don't anticipate hearing their voices.

"Snivellus, meet me in the restricted area in the library by the end of this week,"

"Are you getting any of my letters?"

"Snivellus, talk to me."

I confringo his letters before he even finishes speaking.

The ones from Lucius are soothing, and calming, and he knows how to speak calmly and politely unlike someone.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"I'm thinking about getting access to that time chamber, or should I just patiently wait?"

I don't respond to any of his letters either.

It has been a week, and this evening, I am getting ready for the Yule ball. I combed my hair to the side, put on my black suit, and looked in the mirror. Breathing deeply, I make my way to the main hall where the ball is being held. The winner of the Triwizard tournament this year was a member of the Crabbes family.

It's as if purebloods win by default.

No matter, that does not apply to me.

Meeting Lily halfway down the corridor. Lily is seen by eyes before I am. The music played quietly, and the moment our feet hit the ground, the marauders were nowhere in sight. It's funny how I catch a small detail like that out of the 700 or more guests here.

I understood that they were in the hospital wing and that's why they hadn't been attending classes, but to miss out on the Yule Ball wasn't like them, let alone not being able to watch the tournament altogether. In a perfect world, this would be the dream that I want to live in forever because I'm afraid that moments like this won't ever come by ever again.

Lily laughed and smiled as the evening concluded, swirling and twirling in her green gown that matched the color of her eyes. I don't talk much, but Lily certainly does. The connection between us is too strong for me to ignore, the only thing that weighs on me is the minor reality that in my unfair lifetime, I had lost it to James Potter.

And that's the only thing that makes it hard for me to endure.

Since I can't be with Lily, I'll keep this memory inside of a pensieve, her laughter, her voice, her small moments with me inside a moment of forever.

Lucius Malfoy asked me to dance after pardoning Lily in less than an hour. Lily didn't object because she is aware of my admiration for Lucius Malfoy, but she did let me know that she didn't like him because she disagreed with his theory that purebloods are superior to everyone else. It was unusal because I had never been taken out dancing with another wizard before.

"Have you been opening my owl letters?" Lucius asks,

"I have..." I uttered,

"Why hadn't you responded to any of them?"

Lucius twirled me and spun me as our chests brushed each other.

"I'm sorry," I stammered,

"Remember what I said?" Lucius whispered inside of my right ear.

"If you're sorry, then become a Death Eater."

"...Okay, Lucius," I responded slowly.

A smile appears on his face as he takes my left wrist and kisses where the Death Eater tattoo is going to be placed.

"I'll be expecting you," Lucius says as his lips traced my wrist all the way to the palm of my hand, to my fingers, and gently opening his mouth inserting the tip of my finer inside a soft toothless bite.


I curled my fingers back and soon, Lucius stepped back as he blew me a kiss.

Food and teenagers confessing to one another from left to right marked the end of the Yule Ball. Nevertheless, I've been content in my current position. Not being hounded by the marauders. I have never felt so alive and free as I do now.

In the Slytherin boy's dorm, I waited for everyone to finish their baths. The water had become cold by the time I could take one. I like to take my baths alone, but this evening, I wasn't alone.

I knew that I wasn't alone because of the way that the water moved, my eyes trailed over the area, and taking my wand, I walk towards the corner and used the Revelio charm to reveal who or what was there. It's one thing if it's a ghost or a poltergeist, but it was far worse than something beyond death.

"What are you doing here in the Slytherin's bathroom, Potter?" I say emotionlessly.

James put down his invisibility cloak and cleared his throat, and instead of answering with words, he responded with a smirk.

I place my left hand on top of his head as I dunk him underwater.

"You're a pervert, sneaking around in the Slytherin's common room in your invisible cloak, just how many times have you been sneaking around, Potter?" I say,

James coughed, as he rose back up.

"Just this once!" James says,

"Just what are your intentions?" I say emotionless.

His hand swatted my hand gently as he pull me in for a hug.

"You didn't respond to any of my letters, and my glasses," James says,

I narrowed my eyebrows.

"You risk getting suspended over retrieving your spectacles? You truly are something," I say,

James spun me around kept his hold around me, to face the bathroom door.

"I'm already suspended," James says,

His right hand let go of me as he combs my hair with his fingers. I turned around and our eyes connected. For some reason, his eyes look innocent and unexpected, but I shouldn't let my guard down.

"Why didn't you respond to any of my letters?" James asks,

I turn back to face the front and rolled up my right shoulder and suddenly I feel his lips brush against the top of my shoulder.

"Do you like him?" James asks in a whisper.

"Like who?" I responded.


I turned back and locked eyes with him again.

"He seduced you to become a Death Eater, didn't he?" James says,

"So, what of it?" I say flat.

James squinted his eyes.

"Is that a Yes, in Slytherin?"

"It's a mind your own business," I uttered,

James leaned in and planted a kiss on me. It's a blend of Gryffindor's musky taste and his cinnamon aroma, and it can be a little bit dangerous. A mixture of a groan and a moan slips from our mouths, masking over our innocence that we lost a week ago.

"What are you doing!?" I shouted, turning around and shoving him off.

A smug smile appears on that handsome nerdy face, as he traces his palms over my chest.

"Minding my own business, figured if you're going to join the Death Eaters, I might as well let you, as long as you don't share their beliefs,"

My eyes look down at his already-hardened erection, acknowledging that he's as big as my forearm.

"You're going to kill someone in bed with that thing," I uttered,

Even though the water at our waist level was initially cold, James pulled me in and continued tormenting me with kiss after kiss carved over his light-medium skin as my arms wrapped over his shoulders. He's on fire as our skin touches, and even the water yields with no chance of escaping this.

"P-Potter," I muttered, feeling his strong arms pull at my legs to wrap them around him.

"You're barely doing anything and already driving me mad, Snivellus,"

"Believe me, I don't want this as much as you don't," I say,

A smile curls on James's lips as he nips at my neck.

I try to fight it and try my best to ignore this sensation, but as soon as he steps back and his back touches the tiles of the bathtub, he spins me around and sits me on top of the edge.

"W—What are you going to do?" I uttered, nervously.

Pulling my legs over his shoulders, he props his mouth open, and without warning, he takes my cauldron spoon in.

"P—Potter!" I clenched my teeth, unfamiliar with this emotion.

"Say my name," James says, his eyes looking up at me.

I cover my mouth with my left hand and shake my head, shivering.

"But you could say Malfoy's name?" James says seriously.

I swallowed.

His eyes focused on me as I watched his mouth tormenting me with intensity. I shut my eyes, not entirely sure if I want anything more to happen, but this shouldn't be a hard decision. I don't want this right, or...

Do I?

Chapter 9: J: 0.9 Is it?

Chapter Text


Spending my suspension with my friends was usual for me; we used that time to create the Marauders map. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was visible on the marauders' map. In addition to showing every square inch of the castle's grounds, every staff member or student's location—represented by a dot—on the map, it also revealed every secret entrance concealed behind the walls, every classroom, hallway, and nook. In addition, it was impervious to animagi, polyjuice potions, and invisibility cloaks. Meanwhile, using my Invisibility Cloak, I was able to explore the inside of the castle. We created the map with the help of the hom*onculous Charm so that we could follow Snivellus's every move.

I've been writing Snivellus letters in secret, but he's not responding, and I don't want to feel ignored. So, on the night of the Yule Ball, I planned to go regardless. However, when I went undetected, the person he was dancing with wasn't the lovely Lily-flower, but rather that serpent, Lucius Malfoy.

Approaching them closely so that I can hear what they are talking about.

"I'm sorry," Severus says shyly,

Lucius murmured something in his right ear.

"If you're sorry, then become a Death Eater."

"...Okay, Lucius,"

Watching their cringeworthy display of Slytherin affection made my stomach churn. Lucius takes Severus's left wrist, plants a kiss on it, and his expression lights up.

As Lucius's lips followed his wrist, palm, and fingers, Lucius smiled.

"I'll be expecting you." He then opened his mouth and softly inserted the tip of his finger inside his mouth.

How dare he touch Snivellus.

Recently, I've been considering how I'm going to approach Snivellus, but I haven't discovered a decent way to run into him in the hallways. He's left me with no other choice. I'm heading to the Slytherin boy's dorm tonight. My friends won't be wary of us because I brought the marauders map with me.

While the other Slytherin boys bathe together, he doesn't join them. He goes through his potion text book and writes something in it. Hovering over him and watching as he wrote,

[This book is property of The Half Blood Prince.]

As he placed it on the nightstand to allow the ink to dry, I smiled. I go to the bathroom, where the water is running for the next group to enter. By the time that he came in, the water was freezing cold. I tried to warm the water by using Incendio, but by doing so, the movement in the water, brought Snivellus towards where I am.

"Revelio," Severus says,

My body reacted at the sound of his emotionless voice alone. Although he wasn't incredibly handsome, even in his bare state, he was a living, breathing, wet dream.

My need for him is driving me to act rashly and blatantly. It's because, while I was away, someone else kept him occupied. The further he withdraws from me, the more he seems drawn to purebloods like Lucius Malfoy?

I don't even need my glasses to detect that there's something going on between them, I allowed my body to take charge and felt nirvana when he reciprocated the same touch, realizing that Lucius has easier access to Snivellus than I do because he is also from Slytherin.

"You're barely doing anything and already driving me mad, Snivellus,"

"Believe me, I don't want this as much as you don't," Severus says.

A smile curls on my lips as I nip at his neck.

Who says that I don't want this?

The feel of my mouth on his little thing makes his body stiffen. As I ask him to utter my name, his breathing ceases to moan, and he defies me by shaking his head. I take my left finger and inserted it inside of him, and a loud scream escaped from his mouth.


My mouth withdraws, as I shove both of our wands to roll away, not needing magic for this kind of sensation. His pristine white flesh makes me want to redden it.

"I thought we're going to obliviate this," Severus says,

Again, I push my mouth to his lovely lips, opening his mouth. We change the angles of our faces to make the kiss more comfortable, starting a kissing war between Sytherin and Gryffindor, our low moans slip through each breath. I put whatever problems there might be to rest for the time being. I can assure you that although my body is with Severus, my heart is still with Lily Evans.

I retreated from Snivellus's mouth and traced my lips on the edge of his pale thin neck whispering to him asking him if I could leave a mark on him. His hand takes hold of my head and dunks me in the water again.

"Obliviate!" Severus says, without his wand.

I've never felt so attuned to another person just by the way his eyes connect with me, I collected both of our wands as I swam back up and started running across the large bath tub. Snivellus gets up on his feet as he begins running after me, and from where I'm standing, his face is furious with anger.

"James Potter, return my wand this instant!"

I smiled as I aimed my wand at him.

"Accio," I say,

As soon as his thin body flung towards me, I again, dropped our wands. I caught him, and instantly we splashed into the bathtub.

"Have you gone mad? What if I couldn't swim, you bastard,"

I trace my right hand to caress his back, I slide his waist against mine, and I kiss his mouth repeatedly because he keeps finding words to insult me, I opened my eyes in between and glimpsed at his face, I could see that his eyes were shut, I smiled as I let him down slowly as his feet touched the bath tiles. I continued kissing his mouth as he forced my back against the bath tiles. I sit on the shallow corner as his legs trample along mine with force. He sits on top of my hips, and his mouth is the part of his body that I like the most.

"Why can't we keep these memories?" I whispered,

Snivellus looks into my eyes as his face reddens from what I just said.

"Aww, Embarrassed?" I say softly.

He turns away as he buries his face inside of my chest.

"...Because you're Occlumency skills are awful,"

I laugh as I pull back so that he will look up at me.

"What if I work on it?" I say,

"I don't know...about that,"

"I'll work on it, Sev, I promise,"

I kiss his neck, and this time, I leave a mark.

"P—Potter!" Severus rasp,

"What's my name?"


I smiled.

Before long, a love wound was applied in a spot where no one could see it—between my neck and shoulder.

While we were making out in the bathtub, someone knocked on the door, startling us even after we had changed into our pajamas. Using my invisible cloak, we continued where we left off in the Slytherin's common room.

It was never and will never be an option to stop now. I exert all my effort to make him feel ecstatic, his perspiring body perched over me, his face buried in my chest and barely breathing. As his slender, pale fingers folded tightly against mine.

Why would I ever want to erase this memory of us?

I sit up from the couch and run my fingers through Severus's hair. I had plenty of time to return to the Gryffindor's dorm at 4:04 AM, but as I was going to go, he suddenly grabbed my hand, and I was unable to let go of him. Abruptly, he holds me while I adjust my position so that I won't be discovered spending the night in the Slytherin's common room.

I gave him a morning kiss and left his wand behind, writing that I would be working on the occlumency spell and smile as I stole two, three, four, more pecks before my leave.

The boys and I could go back to class in two days. The end of the semester is almost upon us. Soon, we're all heading home for the summer soon, and then we'll come back for our sixth year.

The first few days when we returned to class, all was normal, and I've told the boys to lower their wands when they come into contact with Severus because we just got out of suspension, we'd be fools to get suspended again.

Being the prefect that he is, Remus doesn't want to tarnish his reputation, however, Peter shares Sirius's desire for us to revert to our previous behaviors by tormenting Severus.

The weeks went by without trouble, and even though my friends are obedient and don't do things without running them by me first, I thought nothing of it, when they started to meet in the Shrieking Shack. In order to get to the Shrieking Shack, one must go through the Whomping Willow. It was erected to access a route leading to Hogsmeade, giving Remus a secure location to undergo his werewolf transformation.

Every three days, in between, I would meet with Severus in the Slyterin's common room and spend time with him, even if he's just got his nose glued to the defense of the dark arts text book. In between turning pages, I would lean over his left shoulder and keep my gaze on him, even though it's minimal, a soft smile curls on his lips, and I don't know why something as simple as that drives me crazy.

But tonight, he wasn't in the Slytherin's common room. I charmed the marauders map, and I went in to panic as I see that Sirius and Severus were together in a corridor, heading to the Whomping Willow.

I hurried to the tunnel that leads to the Whomping Willow as quickly as my legs could take me, and while I got there, Sirius and Peter stood on the ground and returned an invitational hand gesture to join them.

"Where's Moony?" I asked.

"Waiting inside," Sirius says,

"What about Snivellus!?" I shouted,

"Inside, where else?" Sirius says,

I go inside of the Whomping Willow, and inside of the Shrieking Shack, I discover a bloodied up Severus being attacked by my friend, Remus, in his werewolf transformation.

"Petrificus Totalus!" I shouted, directing aim at my friend.

"What's wrong with you, Prongs!?" Sirius screams,

"Have you forgotten who's your friend?" Peter stutters,

"Have you both gone mad? He could've died!" I shouted.

Sirius scoffs as he points his wand at Severus.

"It served him right," Sirius sneered. "Just because we got out of suspension, he was sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to... hoping he could get us expelled..."

"And you didn't even think to run this by me?" I say angrily.

"I knew that you would've said No," Sirius says,

"Yes, we were getting bored staring into space, as a matter of fact, I've gained a few pounds doing nothing," Peter says, rubbing his belly.

I roll my eyes as I lift Severus and return to the other side, bringing him to the hospital wing to get treatment. Sirius stayed back, but Peter followed behind me.

"If I'm not seems, you care for... Snivellus," Peter utters,

"Wormtail, I care for everyone, including you," I say,

Peter's eyes locked on with mine as soon as I looked into his, he turned away.

"I don't deserve your care," Peter whispers,

"That's too bad, I already care about you, don't think too much,"

Peter smiles softly as he draws close to me.

"Have you heard of a wizard falling in love with another wizard?" Peter asks,

"Are you talking about Padfoot and Moony?" I ask,

Peter laughs.

"N—No! Wait, they're a thing?" Peter says confused.

"No, but I just wanted to see your reaction,"

But they sure do act like they are.

Madam Poppy Pomfrey steps out and pulls me to the side, saying that he should be alright once the wounds heal, he could return to his dorm, and he should be discharged shortly no later than a week.

I thanked her, and before shutting the door, she asked if we had become friends. Glancing at his sleeping face from where I'm standing, I'm not sure what we are either.

"We're classmates," I muttered,

She smiles as she shuts the door behind her.

Returning to the Gryffindor common room, Sirus and Remus were sitting on the couch as if they were waiting for us.

"Prongs," Remus says,

I'm not in the mood to talk to either of them, but I paused to listen to them.

"Sirius thought it would be—er—amusing, to tell Snape that all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me, and witness my transformation."

"Amusing, really." I say flat.

"Lighten up, Prongs! Three freaking weeks have danced by, and you're just letting him off these days, where's the fun in that!?" Sirius lashed.

"Watch it!" I shouted.

Sirius takes out his wand, and immediately, I pull mine out too.

"Who the hell are you?" Sirius says,

"Excuse me?" I respond confused,

"You're a fluke, you're someone who made a polyjuice potion to be James Potter, don't think that I can't smell the fake funk off of you!" Sirius says,

"Whoa, Padfoot, lower your wand," Peter says,

Sirius directs his wand at Peter, and I feel frustrated all of a sudden.

"What is happening to you?" I say,

"I thought that we were friends," Sirius says, "But if you truly are Prongs, then, today you broke that friendship by directing your wand at Moony,"

I narrowed my eyebrows.

"He was killing somebody!" I shouted,

"He's still your friend!" Sirius screamed,

"Guys, guys, wands down, let's go over this in the great hall where there's food and light music, ghosts floating about, and pictures of the deceased talking to us," Peter says,

"Revelio!" Sirius says,

I wrinkled my eyebrows.

"So, you really are Prongs," Sirius says,

I let out a sigh.

"I never said that I wasn't," I say sternly.

"Who's side are you on? Ours or his?" Sirius says shakily.

"For the incident that happened tonight,"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Tears fell down from Sirius's eyes as I lowered my wand.

"So, the great hall, anyone?" Peter interrupts,

"I'll go with you," Remus says,

"I feel like I just lost my best friend," Sirius says slowly.

"You don't have to feel that way," I say,

Sirius shakes his head no.

"If by the time he's back up and healthy again, and you don't go back to your old ways, consider our friendship...over."

My heart dropped.

It's not that serious,

Is it?

Chapter 10: S: 10.1 Gryffindor's common room

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

I had a migraine and was overcome with nausea as I woke up from the hospital wing. I had been out for three days without feeling well, according to Madam Pomfrey.

The visitor's chair was empty to my left. I was told that Lily and some of her friends had visited me during the course of the three days, and that I was gifted a get well soon plant from herbology.

It was the Devil's Snare, with a note saying, "This plant reminds me of you, Sev, it's deadly fun, but will despair in the sun. I hope you recover quickly."

As expected of Lily.

But there was no evidence that James came by.

A Treacle tart and pumpkin juice were next to the plant. Because of its propensity to constrict or strangle anything in its immediate surroundings or that occurs to touch it, the plant was enclosed in a glass box.

"Honestly, dear, you should try to stay away from those Gryffindor boys." Madam Pomfrey says as she changes my dressings, "This time, they've gone a bit too far, you could've died,"

"Did Potter visit me," I interrupted her with a whisper,

She seemed surprised by what I just asked, given that I've never spoken to her personally. My responses were always limited to one phrase or a simple nod or a shake.

"Potter brought you here, but he never visited, unfortunately, lad,"

I took a moment to reflect on what she had just said. The only part that I caught was that he never visited. I don't understand why I feel slightly disappointed.

The days return to what they were before. The marauders left me alone for the first several days as I recovered. James stopped visiting in between my evenings in the Slytherin common room. No words were exchanged between us, no owl letters. Classes are essentially the same, he's acting like the smartass that he is, earning points for Gryffindor, and getting support from everyone. Meanwhile, I go back to being that invisible shadow that no one sees except for Lily.

Between strolls along the corridor, I follow the marauders' path on the left side, being cautious not to keep my gaze on James for too long. The laughter that James is displaying is not the same kind of laughter that he shares with me. One week turned into a month, and the marauders' has truly ceased to bother me.

Eventually, Lucius Malfoy finally invited me to the Death Eaters meeting place. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the location was held at the Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire, England, which serves as the Darklord's Death Eater headquarters. I was shocked to learn that Regulus Black, a classmate of mine and Sirius Black's younger brother, was a Death Eater.

"Sevy!" Regulus says excitedly.

The fact that every other Death Eater in this place is a Pure-Blood makes me very uncomfortable. Bellatrix Lestrange, Alecto Carrow, Amycus Carrow, Gaspar Avery, Antonin Dolohov, and Wulfric Mulciber, and there were a few more.

On their left wrist, each death eater has a "dark mark"—a tattoo of a snake growing out of a skull—branded there. I was informed that I would receive my mark after my graduation. Mannequins were covered in black cloaks and adorned with porcelain white masks.

As the days passed, I learned that Wulfric Mulciber and Regulus Black both had a keen interest in dark magic, and since we belonged to the same house—Slytherins—I stopped feeling like such an outcast, despite not being pureblood, but I also swayed away from Lily as well.

Tonight, we risked getting caught in the restricted area in the library. Peeves, the poltergeist caught us, as we should've taken more caution of his whereabouts.

"Naughty, naughty, you'll get caughty..." Peeves laughs as he speaks.

"Let's Kill em" Wulfric says, pointing his wand at him.

"Are you mad? He's already dead," Regulus declares,

"No, he's not," I say, "He's never lived,"

"D—Don't say it like that, that's crazy!" Wulfric says,

"You scared,?" Regulus teased.

"I'm a Death Eater, I eat Death!" Wulfric asserts,

I stumbled over the restriction area and found some older dark arts books; they were so old that the covers were ripped apart.

"Geez, that's as old as my granny," Regulus says,

"You still have one?" Wulfric asks,

I collected it, and suddenly, the sound of footsteps alerted us.

"I say we get out of here now." Wulfric whispers loudly,

"Right, Sevy, you lead, we follow," Regulus says,

We had to conceal ourselves behind a few passageways as we tiptoed along, our invisible charm making sure not to drop any of the volumes we had just collected. Yes, the bookkeeper was actually having a conversation with a few ghosts in the library.

"Should I give her a distraction so that she can make way for us?" Wulfric whispers loudly,

"You are already a distraction!" Regulus says,

After the two calmed down from bickering, I gave them directions on where they could escape to, but we had to separate. The goal was to go 7 minutes after the other as a means to not make any noise. Regulus went first, and Wulfric stayed for the 7 minutes, rooting for Regulus's swift escape. It was soon Wulfric's turn. He offered to let me go first, saying that he would feel horrible if he made a mistake and was discovered, but I told him I would reveal myself and accept full responsibility if that were to happen.

The seconds ticked by and after constant exchanges of whispering about who should go, Wulfric finally went. I watched from the distance, he tripped a few times and even dropped his wand in the process, it was so unbearable to watch, but he was in luck as I shot a movement to knock down a book in the east wing.

The bookkeeper thought it was strange and went to check out the source. I hurried to where Wulfric was and when I got to him, he was sitting under the desk in hiding.

"I'm going to get expelled!" Wulfric says,

"No, you're not, let's go!" I say,

I hold out my left hand, and he puts his on top of mine. We run away as fast as we can, maybe dropping three books between us, but we escape unnoticed.

Professors Flitwick and Slughorn blocked our path as we ran to the Slytherin common rooms.

"What are you lads doing out at this hour?" Professor Slughorn says,

"We're just doing some light reading, sir," I uttered,

"Light reading?" Professor Flitwic says with a raised eyebrow.

"Let's go see what the headmaster has to say about some light reading, shall we?" Professor Slughorn says,

"But sir, it's only 9:43, The curfew isn't until 10 PM, it's not worth a visit to the headmaster's office," I spoke.

"It's not about the curfew boys, but rather, being out in the restricted area," Professor Slughorn says sternly, Professor Flitwick nods his head in agreement.

"Come along now, boys," Professor Flitwick says, as his little legs walk on ahead.

"It was my idea!" I shouted,

Regulus and Wulfric stood behind me as I tried my best to cover for them. Professor Slughorn tilted his head as he let the two return to the Slytherin common room.

Upon meeting the Headmaster, 50 points were taken away from Slytherin, and my title of keeper apprentice was stripped off of me. The 50 points didn't bother me, but the second part did. When I head down to the Slytherin's common room, from the left side of the corridor were the marauders, all four of them, including James Potter, and in his hand, looks to be their stalker of a map.

The Marauders Map.

"Busted!" Peter says loudly,

Everyone let loose a chuckle, and it dawned on me that James Potter was a swine. It's obvious to me now that I detest him—everything I've ever felt about him, even with the smallest chance that my feelings for him would develop into something more, was all...a mistake.

"Are you now acting like the hero? Or are you trying to win my brother over? Sadly, he doesn't swing in that direction." Sirius says,

I scoffed.

"He's not my type." I uttered,

Sirius's eyes stretch wide as he pauses before he emits his ugly laughter.

"He's not his type, he says!" Sirius slaps Peter's shoulders to get him to laugh along with him.

"Yeah, why would I want to wake up to someone that looks like you?" I say firm.

Sirius's facial expression alters as he pulls out his wand.

"Whoa, okay, that's enough," James says, standing between us.

"Say it to my face, say it louder!" Sirius screams,

"Perhaps, I wasn't clear the first time, should I SPELL it out for you, BLACK?"

Sirius puts his wand away and balls up his fist.

"I don't even need my wand for this," Sirius says,

"Yeah, you need a mirror," I say,

"Sev-Snivellus, Back off." James says,

I narrowed my eyebrows, confused.

"W—What?" I respond, annoyed.

"I said, Back off." James says seriously.

"Yeah, you tell him Prongs!" Peter cheers,

James kept his eyes on me momentarily, I tried to see if there was a bit of the James that sneaked out in the middle of the night to see me two months ago or if, by some miracle, all that he ever was, was just that of my imagination.

Had I had to choose any of them, I'd never choose James Bloody Potter.

James grabbed Sirius by the shoulder and turned him toward the Gryffindor common room. Peter trailed behind them. Remus hung back until it was just the two of us.

Seeing him undergo his transformation two months ago, I kept my distance.

"About that night at the Shrieking Shack, I trust that you won't leak that out to the ministry of magic,"

I don't respond.

"That's all, Snivellus," Remus says as he waves me off.


One week later,.

In the enchanted broomstick game Quidditch, each Hogwarts House fields a team to participate. Each team consists of seven players: three Chasers, one Keeper, one Seeker, and two Beaters. The Seeker seeks to capture the Golden Snitch, which scores their team 150 points and ends the game, while the Beaters bat the Bludgers toward their opponents and away from their teammates. The Chasers attempt to score with the Quaffle. The Keeper attempts to protect the goals against the Quaffle.

Regulus invited me to go and watch him play, I went to see the game for what might have been the first time because of our newfound, friendship. Lily and her friends usually go to the game, and this was the first time I had spoken to Lily in a while. I don't talk to her, but I do sit down with her as she excitedly holds up a sign supporting Gryffindor.

At the commencement of the Quidditch game. Regulus takes on the duty of Seeker, which calls for him to capture the Golden Snitch. Regulus doesn't hesitate, moving in its direction, almost capturing it, when suddenly, the Gryffindor's Seeker pushes him aside, moves ahead, and snatches it. My eyes watched as James threw a ball known as the Quaffle. He attempts to get the Quaffle through the goalie hoops by passing it to each member of his team in his role as the Chaser.

Lily was ecstatic to see James gain 10 points for Gryffindor; she got up and pulled me up while jumping up and down.

My eyes focused on her happy face.

Lily likes James.

I don't like James.

I hate him.

James likes Lily.

James doesn't like me.

He hates me.

I reminded myself.

"Did you see that!?" Lily says excitedly, holding my hand and jumping up and down.

I turn my focus back to the game.

Gryffindor, 109 |Slytherin, 107

I acknowledged that her house was winning, without getting offended.

I joined with my friends after the game. My circle of friends grew in number as they began to assemble around me because I was crafting some new spells that had a connection to dark magic. We were all Slytherins' and Death Eaters in the making, and so we were all a bit odd in general.

Unexpectedly, while I was going about my business, James Potter himself placed a mild hex curse on me. I had my wand out, and we traded frequent, low-damage spells that didn't leave wounds, but it was the last one he cast—Rictusempra—that really set me off. When the rictusempra charm is used, the victim will shake with laughter because they're tickled so much that they're unable to jinx the castor in combat.

"Give him a break!" Lily yelled, as she came between us, with her arms spread out.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." James exclaimed co*ckily.

Since this was so out of the ordinary and unexpected, does the wizard Prince suffer from what the muggles refer to as a personality switch disorder?

If I had to be honest, though, this was the true James Potter—the swine that I detest.

"Now, remove the curse from him!" Lily demanded,

James mumbled the counter-curse as he turned to face me.

"That's it, Evans' presence is fortunate for you, Snivellus."

As a result of his snotty behavior and everything that has happened, I felt like every part of my existence combined into one go. My Slytherin friends use the term so casually that it has become so ingrained in me that I didn't think twice about it.

"I don't require assistance from a dirty little Mudblood like her!"

I didn't expect to lose Lily that day, I knew that it hurt her, but I thought that our friendship was larger than that. Lily was clearly upset with me, and James's countenance was one of complete disbelief. I tried to apologize to her by following her all the way to the Gryffindor common room, but she didn't even seem sympathetic, much less want to talk to me.

Sirius grinned at me as the marauders applauded and clapped their hands, applauding their wizard Prince for his achievement. Peter, and Remus, then took a different turn and said that they were going to try to make the room of requirements appear. Sharing the same brain cell, Sirius joined them.

James glanced at me, and I quickly averted my gaze.

I stood outside of the Gryffindor common room, waiting for Lily to come out, but she either used floo powder to get out or she was in her bed under the sheets crying.

I waited for several minutes, which turned into an hour, which stretched to two, and finally, I find myself sitting in front of the Gryffindor common room, my knees folded, unable to cry, but knowing that I am...indeed, crying.

"Why are you still here?"

Looking up, I turn away from him.

"What? Are you here to continue our fight from earlier?" I uttered,

James smiles as he holds his wand in front of my face.

"What?" I respond, swapping it away.

"Grab a hold of it,"

I roll my eyes, irritated, wrapping my left hand around it. James pulls me up and pulls me inside of his arms.

"What are you doi–"

I take my hand off his wand, and as his mouth presses over mine, the kiss was done in the open, not in secret. I didn't believe we would be doing this again because so much time had passed. I push him away, disregarding the sentiments I buried beneath me.

"Enough," I say angrily.

James focuses his gaze on me.

"If Black is not your type, then, who is?"

When he refers this person as "Black," he's not referring to Sirius; rather, he's referring to my housemate Regulus. His voice is barely audible above a whisper, and the unexpected intimacy of his touch chills my spine.

"Lily Evans," I responded.

The side of his mouth twitches, fighting a smirk.

"What of Potter?"

I swallowed hard, bringing my attention to the apple of his throat before I met his hazel eyes again.

"Dream on," I say emotionlessly.

I am abruptly met with a gentle kiss, I gasped, not fully prepared for that second one. Despite his mouth on mine, I can't fight whatever it is that I'm feeling. When he pulled away, he kissed the tip of my nose, and I felt shy all of a sudden.

"P—Potter!" I whispered in a shout.

His finger tips touch the top of my lips to silence me.

"Say my name,"

Shaking my head, He lowers his mouth to mine and stops just shy of our lips meeting,

"Say it,"

His eyes dart down to where my tongue slides out to moisten my lips as I feel nervous all of a sudden.

"I don't have respect for the likes of you, Potter," I replied indifferently.

"Respect that has been lost can be won back."

"Lost? I've never respe–"

​​James's lips clasped against mine, stifling the words. He charmed out his cloak of invisibility and covered us with it. He carefully leads us into the Gryffindor common room, wrapping his right arm around my waist and holding my face with his left hand till the back of his knee strikes the couch. His eyes were fixated on me, and I felt like I was being held captive as he gently broke the kiss. Impatiently, his fingers were tugging the tie around my neck.

"Do you want me to take it off the muggle way, or would you prefer me to take it off with magic?" James whispered.

Wait, but this is the...

Gryffindor's common room.

Chapter 11: J: 10.2- Gryffindor's common room.

Chapter Text


Although Sirius was at fault, the truth is that I don't want to have to lose him as a friend, this is rather petty. But, for now, I'll just focus on clearing my thoughts. I'll just handle things as they arise, when the time comes.

The weeks go by without end, yet every now and then during class and our brief encounters in the hallways, I'm glad to see Severus alert and moving around with his unique nose buried in a dark magic book.

I don't engage with him, but occasionally glance at him hoping that our eyes will do the speaking for us, but he paid no attention to my intentions.

I had to prepare for quidditch season, so I let Sirius know that once it was over, everything would return to the way that it was before.

The days pass interminably, and I notice that Sirius's younger brother Regulus, a fellow Slytherin, and Severus have become friends. While the thought crossed my mind that they share the same interests and are closer in age than that of Lucius Malfoy, it made me slightly irritable. Severus ignored my request to meet with me in the restricted area, but tonight he chose to go hand in hand with his two new boyfriends.

However, when Sirius overhears Regulus discussing Severus at home, Peter can't help but speculate that they may be getting away with something in the castle's secret passageways.

"Oh, Black, harder!! Take me from the behind!" Peter teases.

That's not how he sounds like, and his position isn't that stiff, but I pretended to engage in this nonsense.

Remus says that as long as they engage in sexual activity outside of the castle, he doesn't mind what their sexual orientation is. However, the places on the map where Regulus and Severus would meet up covertly definitely appear to be hidden locations, which infuriated me.

"Should we expose them?" With a nudge to my left arm, Sirius asks.

My gaze remained fixed on the map, tracking their terrible escape strategy.

"Do as you please," I say, concealing my irritation.

Peter caught a glimpse of Professors Flitwick and Slughorn as they were passing by and struck up a conversation, telling them about the three Slytherins in the restricted area.

Excitement filled Sirius and Peter's faces as they awaited their inevitable catch. Even though his own brother is one of them.

To my amazement, Severus assumed full responsibility after being caught. My stomach turned over at the way he claimed responsibility for his two boyfriends and the simple fact that they just let him go through it alone.

Is his concern for them really so great?

When I get caught, everyone goes with me, and we all bear the repercussions together.

That's what friends are supposed to do for each other.

Even though Severus had a natural scowl, there was something indescribable about the dejected expression on his face as he headed toward the Slytherin's common room, which is just across from the Gryffindors.

"Busted!" Peter yells,

I don't know the exact nature of his punishment, but it can't be anything more than a simple detention, can it?

I tried to pretend like I was taking part, though, by smiling a little, because Sirius would think it would be weird for me not to enjoy this.

"Are you now acting like the hero? Or are you trying to win my brother over? Sadly, he doesn't swing in that direction." Sirius says proudly,

Severus scoffed.

"He's not my type." He utters,

A little small talk takes place in between, Sirius draws his wand and instantaneously changes his mood. Sirius has a tendency to become deeply involved in his performance and then become quickly offended.

"Whoa, okay, that's enough," I say as I move to stand in between them.

Balling up his fist, Sirius puts aside his wand.

"I don't even need my wand for this," Sirius declares,

"Yeah, you need a mirror," Severus says flat.

A little surprised by the words that he's choosing to respond with.

I tell him to back off, using the same tone I've used a million times to be quite rude to him.

"W—What?" Severus expresses irritation.

"I said, Back off." I repeat,

"Yeah, you tell him Prongs!" With much excitement, Peter remarks,

I briefly fixed my gaze on him, longing to have some alone time to just talk to him about everything. And to be quite honest, I hate everything that's going on, but we haven't spoken in a long time, so it's nice to be this close to him, even in such matters.

I took Sirius by the shoulder and guided him toward the Gryffindor common room. Peter appeared behind us. Remus, though, stayed back.

Upon returning to the Gryffindor common room, Sirius went straight to the bathroom to take a bath to blow off some stem. Halfway down the corridor, where I had last seen Remus and Severus, Remus was making his way back. I waited for him outside of the Gryffindor common room.

"What'd you say to him?" I inquire,

"Nothing too threatening, just to keep his mouth shut about that incident," Remus responds.

My gaze met with his, and I couldn't help but feel a little angry at the realization that Remus has no control over what he does during his metamorphosis.

"You ought to be offering an apology to him," I remark gravely.

"Since when do you, or anyone in our circle apologize to Snivellus?"

I sighed in exasperation.

"You're right, we don't, but he almost died." I remind him,

"And who is to blame for that? Not me," Remus says.

Frustrated by this conversation that's not going no where, I let him enter the common room.

As I stepped out of the corridor and passed by the Slytherin common room door a few times, debating if I should enter or not, but after pacing back and forth, I restrained myself from bothering Severus, because after what's happened just now, why would he want to see me?


After a week.

Severus's presence startled me as a member of the crowd, but the shirt he's wearing supports Regulus, not me. I tried hard to make sure his eyes were solely on me, even though Regulus was in a far more alluring position.

Throughout the game, Lily and her friends encouraged me, and it was the first time I had seen Severus so close to Lily in a long time.

When the game is over, after joining forces with his friends, Severus successfully charmed everyone's shirt back to the uniform blouse.

"Let me fix that for you," Regulus says to Severus, fiddling with his tie.

With a smile on his face, Severus says that although Regulus was the major attraction, it was a fantastic game and that it's unfortunate that Slytherin lost.

He says that Black is not his type, so why are they so touchy-feely?

Are they also touchy-touchy in their dorm room as well?

They started to trot off, bringing more traffic into their group.

I became so furious that I cursed Severus with a small hex while he was away from his friends. His sudden shift of attitude surprised me. He pulled out his wand and we exchanged low-damage spells that didn't cause any injuries. However, he was becoming more adept at deflecting and blocking my assaults, so I was forced to use the tickling spell.

"Give him a break!" Lily yelled as she came between us, with her arms spread out.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." I say, not wanting to come out as too arrogant, but I can't undo how it came out in the heat of the moment; she should have just stayed out.

"Now, remove the curse from him!"

I sighed in irritation and muttered the counter-curse as I turned to face Severus, as Lily instructed.

"That's it, Evans' presence is fortunate for you, Snivellus," I say.

"I don't require assistance from a dirty little Mudblood like her!" Severus shouted.

Even I was taken aback by what he had just slipped out. Given how close they both are.

I knew that Lily was the center of Severus's universe, so it hurt to see him chase after her trying to make up for what he had just said. My friends joined in and asked me why I let them miss out on the fun, it was mainly Sirius's remark, but like Lily, I wasn't having it either.

After a few minutes I felt that we should call it a day, and upon our return to the Gryffindor common room, only to find Severus desperately pounding on the door in excruciating pain.

Begging Lily to come and hear him out, it was disheartening to watch.

Sirius smiled at him in the middle of discussing my huge victory today. Peter and Remus then took a different direction and stated they would try to make the room of requirements appear, but I knew that this was because they didn't know what was going on and that I wasn't in the mood to tell them anything. Sirius also trialed behind them, and before I did, I shot a quick glimpse at Severus, who swiftly looked away.

After multiple failed attempts to get the room of requirements to appear for several hours, my friends went to the great hall to consume more junk food—Peter in particular enjoyed to eat. He would eat anything as long as it was edible.

That's why he chose to be a Rat.

When I returned to the Gryffindor common room, Severus was still there, but he was now sitting with his face covered by his thin kneecaps.

"Why are you still here?" I inquired,

Severus looks up to see me, then turns away from me.

Irritated by my mere presence he assumes that I've returned to continue our petty battle earlier.

I held my wand in front of his face, smiling softly, urging him to grab onto it, and the moment that he did, I hauled him up, and bring him into my arms.

"What are you doi–".

I put my mouth to his as soon as his hand leaves my wand, but he pushes me away, displeased with me.

"Enough," Severus says,

I kept my eyes on him.

"If Black is not your type, then, who is?"

"Lily Evans,"

My mouth twitches on the side, trying not to smile.

"What of Potter?" I respond,

His weary eyes slowly meet mine to examine me.

"Dream on," He said coldly.

["You are the dream," I respond in my mind.]

I gave him a quick, gentle kiss, and he gasped softly, not pushing me away this time. I kissed the tip of his nose as I withdrew, and saw his once-pale face turn scarlet.

When I ask him to say my name, he shakes his head in defiance. Expressing that he doesn't have any respect for me. I silenced his comments as I press our lips together, sensing that he isn't interested in changing his opinion of me. I cast my cloak of invisibility around us after conjuring it up. I slowly bring him into the Gryffindor common room, holding his face with my left hand while encircling his waist with my right arm till the back of my knee hits the couch. His slender frame landed on top of me, and without warning, my gaze locked on him as I softly broke the kiss. My fingers strained impatiently at the necktie around his neck, recalling that Regulus had adjusted it earlier, which had enraged me.

"Do you want me to take it off the muggle way, or would you prefer me to take it off with magic?" I whispered.

The way his thin frame fits around my waist while he's perched on top of me. His expressionless eyes convey no emotions. From sundown to dawn, all I want to do is become his favorite seat, admire the curves of his hips, watch him break into sweat embarrassingly, feel his lips on mine, and commend the way he hesitates shyly before uttering my name.

Merely a breath apart, I grasped my wand and raised it, only to have Severus abruptly take it from me, straighten his tie, conjure an invisibility spell, and crawl off of me, exiting from the...

Gryffindor's common room.

Chapter 12: S: 11 This swine.

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

Although my body undeniably betrays me, I have too much respect for myself. He doesn't regard me as a respectable individual, doesn't like me, and doesn't care about me. He is not deserving to have sex with me, much less share the same air.

Not after everything that has transpired thus far, does he simply show up whenever he needs a release?

The way he's staring at me paralyzes me; perhaps it's the way he's pulling on my tie. My ability to think clearly will diminish and I will succumb to his self-centered cravings the longer I sit over his waist.

While I didn't answer his request to how he should undress me, he raised his wand, and instantly, I take it from him. I then fixed my necktie, put the invisible spell on myself, returned his wand to him, and slithered out of the common room, away from him.

I'm not sure if it's because of his abrupt conduct or anything else, but I'm definitely feeling irritated with him.

I felt hands suddenly seize my arm. I wanted to resist, but for some reason I couldn't. Perhaps there's a rationale for his behavior, but this is James Potter; he's incapable of feeling anything.

"What?" I say angrily, looking back at him.

"Do you not want me anymore?" James ask firmly.

I simply spun around and dodged what he had just asked, swinging my arm to cause his hand to come off.

"Legilimens," James whispered, but I countered it with Occlumency.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" I say angrily.

"You're not responding to me, so I just wanted to know what you're thinking,"

I give no answer, but instead turn around to glance at James. Just him being in my presence is getting on my nerves, and now he's used magic to try to get inside of my mind, when he's already the main source of what's on my mind.

I detest it.

"At least try to talk to me," James says softly,

"There's nothing to talk about," I respond.

James bends down at the waist and looks directly at me. I push him away, annoyed at this closeness, but just as the invisible cast comes off of me, I hear footsteps coming. It's his main group of friends, heading back to the Gryffindor's common room to get to their dorms.

"Prongs said that he was concerned about Evans and went back to the common room to check on her," Remus says.

Approaching closer towards us, James pulled me in and shields me under his invisibility cloak. In complete contradiction, I raise my wand, and attempt to escape from under his cloak.

"I can't believe Snivellus would say that to her," Peter says.

"What do you guys expect, he's a Slytherin," Sirius expresses with detest,

"Everyone in your family has been sorted into Slytherin," Remus reminds him.

I tried to push James off, but he captured my mouth taking hold of my wand. The angle isn't the best, and our position isn't comfortable, but the fact that we're standing inches from the Gryffindor common room, locking lips in front of his friends, disoriented me. Keeping our lips sealed together, with his left hand he folds his fingers with mine.

As soon as his friends walk into the Gryffindor common room, I break off the kiss. Wiping my mouth with the back of my left hand.

"Do I disgust you now?" James asks in a whisper.

"When have you not?" I respond.

He hands me my wand back, resting his forehead on top of my right shoulder.

"You're not being fair," James muttered.

"What's not being fair, Potter?" I respond.

He slowly lifts his head and focuses his gaze on me.

"I just want you to talk to me, is that so much to ask?"

My heart pounded frantically in my chest, and I felt as though my nerves were all strangely acting up.

"You're a swine, James Potter," I say,

"Mm, I'm a Stag, actually," James responds as his body hovers over me, as my back presses against the wall.

"This is a start, keep talking, Sev,"

I swallowed.

"Why do you do this to me?" I whisper softly.

"Do what, Sev?"

I shove him off and cast the invisibility spell on me as I hurried to the Slytherin's common room.

Do what?

Does he really not have a clue?


Morning arrives, and I haven't had to get up really early to take a bath by myself since I became friends with Regulus and Wulfric. I now bathe with the two of them.

"So, what are your plans for the summer?" Regulus asks,

"I'm going to study dark magic with Avery," Wulfric says,

"How romantic," Regulus teases.

Despite being a bit on the heavier side, I secretly think that Wulfric is kind of cute.

"What about you, Sevy, are you planning anything?" Regulus asks.

I hesitated at the idea of going back to my family's house. co*keworth's Spinner's End is a run-down suburb. This part of town is filled with factories, run-down buildings, and broken-down street lamps; it is also surrounded by an unclean river. Given that Lily and her family lived in a townhouse close to Spinner's End, I'm not sure if she would come out and spend the summer with me, like...she Always did before.

"Nothing too interesting, just going back home," I responded.

"What's it like being half muggle?" Wulfric asks,

I lower myself so that the bath water would come up to my nose as I blinked my eyes.

"Because of the unhappy relationship that I have with my father, I don't feel very proud to be half Muggle."

As Wulfric rises up, his full anatomy is visible to me, with water cascading down his body.

"Then, you'd best marry a pureblood and erase the mud-out of you," Wulfric says,

"Growing up, our Black family was considered royalty due to our strict adherence to having a "pure" linage. So, I can only imagine the struggles that you would have to deal with being half-muggle born." Regulus says,

"Yes, if you're lucky, a Weasly would marry you," Wulfric says.

Regulus gives him a quick shove and shakes his head.

"Well, you know because they're the lowest of the purebloods, they uh-nevermind," Wulfric continues saying.

"No, I get it, they associate with muggles," I say.

As Regulus stands up, Regulus splatters water at Wulfric.

"Why do you gotta be so damn rude to Sevy!?"

"What?" Wulfric replies, "I wasn't being rude; I was being honest."

Smiling softly sheilding my sadness, I accept this as my reality. For two purebloods to be close friends with a halfblood like myself must be embarrassing.

In Potions class, I sat alone in the corner far away from everyone else. Lily became absorbed in her thoughts and avoided making eye contact or any other kind of interaction with me during Professor Slughorn's demonstration of how to prepare the ideal poly juice. James is seated in the back of the class, talking loudly with his three extra shadows. Irritated, I turned back to glance at his table. Unexpectedly, his eyes widened in a comical way, as if he was telling me to keep my eyes on him.

Everyone congregated at the Great Hall following the conclusion of classes to hear the announcement of the houses that received the most points prior to summer vacation.

While my back is usually brushed against Lily's, today she sat opposite of where she normally sits, avoiding me. Following our dismissal, I did my best not to upset Lily any more than I already had because we live so close to each other that she won't be able to avoid me once we go back home.

Upon stopping her, she let out a frustrated sigh.

"...I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just..."

"Slipped out?" Lily's voice lacked empathy. "I have excused myself from you, my friends don't even know why I'm corresponding with you. You and your cute little Death Eater friends think you're so much better than everyone else, everyone at the school knows that, Sev,"

My mouth fell open, but I say nothing.

"You can be really ungrateful, I stood by you, I was your friend, and you—never mind, you've chosen your path and I've chosen mine,"

"No—listen, I don't—"

Lily rushes out into the courtyard, and I trail behind her, attempting to patch things up between us as the Marauders hang out by the lake, just six feet away from us. James's gaze turned to stare at me while Sirius whined about being bored.

"Snivellus!" James yelled, and his friends followed suit, calling me by that horrible moniker.

James approaches us and smiles at Lily, before he utilizes the Impediment Jinx to make me collapse, disarming me with Expelliarmus.

"Need me to wash that mouth of his, Evans?" James asks as he tucks the side of hair behind her left ear.

"No amount of soap can erase what he called me, Potter," Lily says,

James then used Scourgify to choke me by gagging me with pink soap bubbles.

I manage to stand up, retrieve my wand, and use Sectumsempra to cut James in the face all while James was flirting with Lily in plain sight. With blood trickling down from his wounded face, James reacts angrily, muttering Levicorpus, flipping me over so everyone can see my underwear. While I am upside down and publically humiliated, James and his friends taunt me with that horrible nickname in an attempt to get me to properly apologize to Lily. Lily stayed behind and joined them, and even teased me with that name, Snivellus.

James threatens to de-pants me in front of everyone while others assemble to watch.

"Do it, Do it, Do it,"

The voices overlap from one another.

"Should I do this, Evans?" James asks Lily.

Lily gave a blink.

"I'm not going to stop you anymore, Potter, do what you want, he's not my friend," Lily stated icily.

James lowers me down slowly as Lily's eyes locked on to mine as she trails away.

"And if I were you, Snivellus, I would wash my pants." Lily says,

I had upset her, so she wanted to hurt me as badly as she possibly could. She knew me better than probably anyone, so she knew how to hurt me better than anyone. Lily always defended me never letting things get too far, but from now on, to her, I am someone unworthy of being protected, and as soon as she left, I realized that no one was on my side, because everyone knew about my reputation with the Death Eaters at school, and Lily's other friends didn't understand why she being a muggle-born was hanging out with a Death Eater known for detesting other muggle-born individuals. Considering that the death eaters don't think muggle-born people should exist. Other than my soon-to-be Death Eater friends, I had no friends at school, and they were busy torturing some other impoverished kid who could be in a similar circ*mstance to mine.

Once my body hit the ground, the marauders all aimed their wands at me circling around me.

"What should we do to him?" Peter asks excitedly,

James retreated from the circle and observed his friends torturing me with Depulso for three rounds, pushing and shoving me with their energy force. Sirius's Depulso is so powerful that it ripped my shirt, exposing my skin; Peter's is weak and clumsy, causing me to zigzag as I approached Remus. When Remus casts his, he held back, but this last round he directed me toward James, who caught me with his arms rather than casting one, sending me back to Sirius.

"That's enough," James says,

Their wizard Prince is unquestioned, despite the look of complete shock on every one of their faces. James says that everyone should head back to Gryffindor's dorm to prepare for the summer and that's enough entertainment for the day.

Remus, Peter, and Sirius all departed. The courtyard was already free of the number of individuals who had witnessed my humiliation.

Easing my way out of James's hold, he wraps his arms tighter around me.

"Let go of me, Potter!" I demanded,

James spun me around and lifted me up over his left shoulder.

"What are you doing!?" I screamed,

"Taking you to the hospital wing," James answered.

I arch a brow.

"Wow, I don't require assistance from the likes of you,"

"You don't but I volunteer to take responsibility," James say,

"Put me down, or I'll curse you, I swear it,"

"I think you already put one on me," James teased.

"Well, then it must not be strong enough,"

Just as he is about to reach the common rooms by walking down past the great hall, he turns left to approach the big set of stairs.

"You're going to carry me all the way to the 6th floor?" I inquire,

His lips twitch into a tiny smile.

"That's the least that I can do for what happened earlier," James respond,

I became quite irritated.

"You're a bloody Swine, Potter, nothing you say or do could make up for what has transpired, you really think that by going up a few stairs is going to make me forgive you, let alone forget the incident altogether?"

James places me on the third floor, which goes to the Hufflepuff's residence and shrugs.

"There are spells for that," James says,

I give him an exasperated look, fully annoyed by his mere presence now.

"Don't talk to me, Potter,"

As soon as I climb up the stairs, he grabs my wrist and pulls me in while pressing my mouth against his. I pulled away, but he held onto me tighter, sealing his lips to mine.

"I'm going to obliviate everyone that was there's memory," He murmurs between kisses.

"Will that earn me a point for Gryffindor?"

I blinked, angered by all of this.

My hands shove him and I didn't know my own strength but he fell off the stairs.

"I didn't mean to-"

I hurried down the stairs, tripping over the final step and falling. James then pointed his wand at me and used an accio to pull me in his arms and his back hit the floor with a thud.

"Are you okay?" I asked,

"Sev," James whispers, his fingers trailing through my hair.

"Are you concerned about me?"

My brow furrows, and I can't comprehend why I can't just stay back and let the swine fall after what he did in front of everyone earlier.

"I'm not concerned at all," I say emotionlessly.

"Well, then what was that?"

A innocent small grin forms on his lips.

"I don't care about you, or what happens to you- or-"

The sound of laughter and indistinct voices came from the fourth floor, quickly, James rolled us underneath the stairwell and silenced me with a kiss.

"Do you know what Mulciber attempted to accomplish on Mary Macdonald the other day?" Speaking in the Ravenclaw uniform, was a girl.

"I hear that he has a mad crush on her, but was rejected," Donning the Hufflepuff uniform, the other girl remarks,

"You can't believe how creepy he is—he used Imperio on her."

Hearing her voice blend in with the other two girls made my heart race.

"I can't believe you were friends with Snape,"

"Since Mulciber, Black, and Snape are friends, they must have planned it together," remarks the Hufflepuff girl.

Lily paused before answering.

"But did you see what Potter did to him earlier?" The girl from Ravenclaw says, "Serves him right,"

Lily pardoned herself as she joined in with two other Gryffindor girls, separating from the staircase case, heading to their respective common rooms.

I break myself free and push James away. As I crawl out to look at Lily's back as she moves farther and farther away from me, the agony in my chest only grows more.

"Take care, Lily." I whispered.

James's arms wrapped around me as he also stood behind me and watched her from behind.

"What are you going to do this summer?" James asks.

Annoyed, I take his arms off of me.

"Don't ask if you don't really want to know," I say assuming that he knows that Lily and I live in close proximity.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know," James says softly.

My pulse pounds beneath the collar of my blouse and I hate myself more than I hate the man standing in front of me.

"Why now?" I ask,

"What do you mean?"

"We've known each other for so long, not once have you asked me what I'm going to do for the summer and now all of a sudden you ask,"

"I know that you're still upset with me—about earlier and—"

"Just answer the damn question,"

James blinked his eyes through his round glasses and checked our surroundings before drawing close to me.

"I—I just want to know because I feel guilty for what's happened between you and Evans, I want to make up for it, is there a way that I can redeem myself?"

The wizard Prince sounds so sentimental that more emotion gets stuck in my system. I have no control over how my thoughts flip from despising him, wanting him, and—worst of all—having enough room to... forgive him.

I just have to remind myself not to be fooled by...

This swine.

Chapter 13: J: 12 Right?

Chapter Text


"Why do you do this to me?"

For the last few hours, that one question has occupied all of my thoughts. In truth, I have no idea why I act the way that I do; all that I know is that he's never far from my mind. I even made an attempt to persuade myself that he must have mixed up a love potion and secretly added it to my drink.

Since three days from now is the final day before everyone heads back to their homes, the headmaster awarded points to each house in the great hall. Just outside of the courtyard where we usually hangout by the lake.

As usual, Sirius expresses that Regulus doesn't ever stop talking about Snivellus and that even though Snivellus claims that they're not an item, he discovered that they bought matching wand handles at Hogsmeade together. Peter thinks that's romantic and adorable and even jokes that he might get a brother in law instead of a sister in law. Remus doesn't engage in their conversation, and nor do I, but I'm definitely listening.

I get nervous and apprehensive about the exchanges in Sirius's and Peter's jokes as I see Lily angrily storming out in the courtyard. I'm staring at Severus, studying his actions as he tries so hard to convince Lily to listen to him.

"There's your brother-in-law, Padfoot," Peter teases.

With a laugh, Sirius prods Peter to shut up.

"I get to be the best man," Remus remarks,

Waiting for me to join in the laughter, I angrily yelled out to Snivellus.

Without my instruction, they all yelled Snivellus in contation right away.




I walk up to them, give Lily a friendly smile, and then use the Impediment Jinx to cause Severus to trip and fall, disarming him with Expelliarmus so that I can inspect the wand's handle.

The handle is etched with BLACK, with Slytherin's house colors. This infuriated me as I start to shake at the realization that he had been lying to me when he said that Regulus wasn't his type. Given that they share the same dorm room.

Why do they have similar wand sleeve handles if they aren't boyfriends?

Has he been sucking his dick?

I require answers.

"Need me to wash that mouth of his, Evans?" I ask.

Lily says that nothing can make up for what he called her, tucking the side of her hair behind her left ear. I used Scourgify to give him a pink soap bubble mouth wash for calling Lily a Mudblood, and for sucking someone else's dick when he already has me.

Severus got up during Lily and our little conversation, retrieved his wand, and used Sectumsempra to sever my face. I was so angry that I cast Levicorpus, his signature spell, on him and turned him over so everyone could see his undies. My friends and I made fun of him as he was publicly humiliated and turned upside down as Lily joined in.




The chanting grew louder.

"Who's up for me removing Snivelly's pants?" I declare aloud.

"Do it,"

"Do it,"

"Do it,"

The voices are overlapping with each other.

"Should I do this, Evans?" I query Lily.

Lily blinked.

"I'm not going to stop you anymore, Potter, do what you want, he's not my friend," Lily said icily.

As I gradually lower Severus down, I think, and just like that, they're no longer friends?

How on hogwarts ground could they have wounded each other in this way?

Does she have no sincere desire to maintain their friendship?

As soon as his body landed on the ground, my friends all pointed their wands at him and circled about him.

"What should we do to him?" With excitement, Peter queries,

I pulled out of the circle and watched as my friends pushed and shoved Severus with their energy force while torturing him with Depulso for three rounds. I don't like that Sirius is inadvertently using so much strength; his Depulso is so strong that it tore his shirt, revealing his skin.

Irritated by it, I hinted to Remus to send him in my direction on the last round as a means for me to end this circle of torment.

"That's enough," I firmly remark.

Despite the looks of complete bewilderment on everyone's faces. I advise them that they should all get back to Gryffindor's dorm to prepare for the summer because that will be enough amusem*nt for the day.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter all departed. The number of people who had watched Severus's humiliation in the courtyard had decreased.

Severus displays his hatred towards me as I hold him over my left shoulder. I expected this because I hadn't anticipated things getting to that extreme. It almost feels illegal to spend alone time with him. A few incidents happened during our trip to the hospital wing, even having to hide from Lily and her two girlfriends, listening on what happened to Mary Macdonald, a fellow Gryffindor.

As the ladies go their separate ways, Severus stepped out and watched Lily from the distance.

I stood behind him, also observing Lily from behind, my arms encircling him.

"What are you going to do this summer?" I inquire.

He pulled my arms away from him, annoyed.

"Don't ask if you don't really want to know."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know," I say honestly.

Severus focused his eyes on me.

"Why now?" He queries.

"What do you mean?"

"We've known each other for so long, and not once have you asked me what I'm going to do for the summer, and now all of a sudden you ask,"

True, but those were different times, and things are different between us now.

"I know that you're still upset with me—about earlier and—"

"Just answer the damn question,"

I glanced around through my big spectacles and blinked before moving closer to him.

"I—I just want to know because I feel guilty for what's happened between you and Evans, I want to make up for it, is there a way that I can redeem myself?"

That's not totally untrue, but I also don't want to be the cause of their broken friendship. No matter how I run the scenes in between my mind, I seem to be the focal point of how it began and... how it ends.

"What's Lily got to do with summer?" Severus asks,

"A lot actually, isn't she your only friend during the summer?" I say,

"Wow, rude, so what you're really saying is that I'm going to be alone this summer, is that it?"

The entire situation is less than ideal, and maybe it's the choice of words that I'm using but now it feels impossible to change the circ*mstances.

"I wasn't even thinking that, I was going to ask you to spend your summer with me, since it might be a bit uncomfortable for you— and Evans to see each other living so close to each other,"

A quiet chuckle comes from his thin lips- a sound I've dreamed of more times than I can hear it as a reality.

"You really think that I'd want to spend my summer with you?" Severus says,

"Do you not?" I ask,

"What do you think?" Severus says,

My gaze follows the sleeve of his cloak, where his wand is equipped.

"Do you have someone else...that you would rather spend your summer with?" I ask in a whisper.

Madam Pomfrey was not shocked to see us entering the hospital wing. Upon entry, Severus tugged at my cloak and I waited in silence, anxiously anticipating what his words might be.

"I don't have anyone other than Lily, so I suppose you could start by erasing everyone's memory before summer begins, and maybe then, I might consider spending the summer with you, Potter," Severus says,

I blink, attempting to regain equilibrium in the situation that I have to be able to complete this task in three days, no matter what.

"Oh, but allow your friends to keep theirs, and Lily too," Severus mutters, as he sit down in a chair waiting for Madam Promfrey.

I lean in and steal a kiss before anyone else enters the hospital wing.

"P—Potter!" Severus says,

"You're going to spend your summer with me, I solemnly swear it," I whispered,

"You should've cast an invisibility charm before ki—"

When Frank Longbottom hops into the hospital wing, he claims that Gilderoy Lockhart has tried to fix his broken leg but has instead deboned it. His girlfriend is sobbing over the fact that Gilderoy promised that he could heal him in time for his audition to become an auror, for the ministry of magic.

"Don't trust Lockhart," Frank says, "He's a dream crusher,"

"Oh, my poor child," Madam Promfrey says, as she readies a bed for him.

Grinning, I head back to the Gryiffindor's common room to put together a successful strategy. I joined my friends while they're packing up their suitcases, I expressed to them that we should obliviate everyone who was present at today's evening except for ourselves. Sirius and Peter were perplexed as to why I would make such a request, believing that I had lost my mind. Remus waits for me to finish, as I explained that if the professors find out, we'd fall right into Severus's trap, he wants us expelled, he has been trying to get us expelled every single year, and by having that many witnesses, the chances of us returning to our 6th year may not be possible.

Sirius acknowledged that having to preserve the memories was fulfilling enough, and Remus remained silent.

The following day, Remus, being a Prefect, had access to the book that contained information about every student in every year. Peter was assigned to eliminate the Hufflepuff pupils, while Remus, Ravenclaw, Sirius handled the Slytherin house, and I got Gryffindor.

Since I can't recall every person who was there, I cast the legilimens spell to go back in time and confirm with each person before erasing their memory. In order to avoid obscuring the student's memories twice, we cross their name off the list once the memory has been removed. The more numbers we eliminated each hour, the more excitement my friends are at with their poll.

"I got 212 people's memory erased," With excitement, Peter exclaims,

"514," Remus replies.

"Five hundred and what? Y—You're a prefect, which means you're a cheater, are they all at the prefect's laboratory, or what?" Sirius looks at his sheet and excuses himself.

"No, you're just slow," Remus responds.

"I need a few more before I reveal my number to you," Sirius says,

"This isn't a race," I firmly reply.

"It's one now!" Sirius remarks,

Peter nods in agreement while laughing.

"Race! Race! Race!" Peter says cheerfully,

"Okay fine, our goal is 700, tonight," I respond.

Without exchanging any more words, we dispersed.

It truly makes me pleased that things are going more easily than I had imagined.

At night, after everyone had reached the goal, we went back to our common room and discussed that there weren't many present in the courtyard, and the potential that we had already gotten all of them were high. I wanted everyone to switch sheets the following day, just to use the mind reading charm to double check. and on the last day, to rotate the sheets again, and repeat the process just in case we missed anyone.

It was customary for me and my friends to grab a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, as Sirius was our go-to butterbeertender; however, this was his final shift before summer.

"Yay, we bloody did it!" Peter expressed relief.

"I thought that I could never reach that number, 817 students total," Sirius says,

"You went over 700?" I asked,

"Well, I figured, do the ones that aren't likely to be there because anyone could be a mole," Sirius says,

"Yeah, I did 927," Remus says,

"What the heck?" Sirius expressed annoyance.

"Sorry, I shared the same mindset even though maybe in total there were only a good 39 present at the scene," Remus says,

"I was thinking, a good 50," I say,

"39, 50, same thing, a double digit, not a 3 digit amount," Remus says,

"If it makes you feel any better, I even erased those who weren't there but heard the gossip and passed it on," Peter says, sounding smart for the first time.

"I did the same," Sirius says,

In actuality, this was a different kind of satisfaction.

I raised the bottle to my mouth, as I caught a glimpse of a small circle of future death eaters gathering around a thin, pale, dark haired butterbeertender.

"Oh, you like it sweet," Severus says, mixing his drink.

Sirius looks at me, and then slid his eyes over to see Severus.

"Yeah, we're in uniform, unfortunately, I can't do anything to him while I'm working," Sirius says,

That's a good thing, I'd expect you to not do anything to him.

"His hair is brushed back, you could see his face," Remus comments,

"Whoa, he had one?" Peter jests,

On our way back, Peter had been a little intoxicated. I allowed Sirius and Remus to assist him, but he persisted in clinging to me.

"Prongs!" Peter breathed, "I—I want you,"


"Take him back to the dorms," I say, removing Peter's hand off of me.

Remus and Sirius did as they were told, and I trailed along behind them just far enough to be able to view the route back to Hogsmeade should I so choose.

My mind is warped by my racing ideas, which prevent me from thinking rationally or logically.

Severus and Regulus were exchanging laughter, and in between Regulus fixed the clippings in his hair.

My legs spun me around before I could process what I was actually going to do when I see them in close proximity.

The Three broomsticks is now empty, and from the glass window they display their act of affection in the open as Regulus help remove Severus's ap*rn off of him. They again, laugh in front of me as I wait bitterly.

Regulus steps outside of the front burgendy door, and immediately, I charmed out my invisibility cloak to conceal myself as Severus steps out.

"You didn't have to wait for me, Reg," Severus says,


He has a pet name now?

"Oh, but I want to, I don't want my brother and his group of friends to attack you when you're alone," Regulus says,

"I guess right now, you're sort of my only friend." Severus says shyly.

Only friend?

What makes me, then?

Is he blushing?

I can't tell, I need a better view, or a whole new eye exam for this one.

Regulus exchanges a small laugh at that.

"Then, as your only friend, can I ask you something?" Regulus whispers,


"I wanted to ask you if you would spend your summer with me,"

No, he already plans to spend his summer with me; he won't be spending it with you. Severus pauses as he gaze into Regulus's eyes as if he's searching for something in him.

"Why me?" Severus asks softly,

Why ask?

When you already have me.

"I know that as a member of the Black family, we won't be able to marry, but there's no rules or regulations saying that we can't have relationships with muggle borns or half bloods, so, I am careful with words when I'm around you because...well, I like you, Severus,"

Emotions snatch at me and fill my mind. I picture my wand directed at Regulus since he's my friend's brother, I consider him to be family, so even that mere thought felt wrong. Regulus, on the other hand, is the type of family—not the close kind, the kind where you acknowledge them as such but don't feel very connected to them.

Betrayal, rage, some type of agony, and resentment hit me in one go.

Things I'm not entitled to feel.

"I—I don't know what to say," Severus stammered,

He doesn't know what to say?

Say no, of course, he's going to say no...


Chapter 14: S: 13 Senseless

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

I have to work a shift with Sirius, and seeing the marauders is the same as having a shift with Sirius. Since Wulfric got expelled for that incident, we're not sure if he's going to return to Hogwarts for his sixth year. Avery, Evan, and Regulus met with me this evening at the three broomsticks for a butterbeer. It was hot and dewy today, so I tied my hair back, but since I've been working for 4 hours just spinning around mixing drinks and shaking them, I must look like a mess.

Regulus took out a hairclip and leaned over and clipped the hair strands that were falling out to the side.

There was a lot of noise as the Wizard Prince's group arrived. They're sitting in the bar's corner, as I can see. I have no idea what they're talking about, but they're all lively, and boisterous, and tonight's laughter—which I used to detest—doesn't seem all that annoying.

"But then, like I swear it, there was a story like it," Peter exclaims.

"Why? Are you in love with someone?" James teased him.

"I just might be," Peter says softly.

I had to force myself to ignore them, reminding myself that James is the group's embodiment and that he can never be more than the person he presents himself as.

A swine.

For the rest of the evening, I concentrated on serving my friends; Avery and Evan departed as dusk was falling. Regulus would not go with them, despite my encouragement to the contrary.

Shortly after, the marauders depart, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize that their table is deserted and devoid of Sirius as well.

"They can't do anything to you," Regulus says,

I give him a soft smile, as I wipe down the tables.

"Let me help you," Regulus offers, leaning over to place his hand on top of mine.

"Oh, sorry," Regulus whispers,

I slide my hand under his as his hand lands on top of the white rag.

"You don't have to," I say,

"Oh, but I want to," Regulus says with a smile.

I'm sinking in the murky pond I've dug myself for Lily's friendship. If Lily doesn't want to be my friend, then maybe I don't deserve one, not even their kindness, which is why I am immediately drawn to this same generosity that astounds me to ease the agony.

I wait silently for Regulus to go so that I can close up, without saying anything. But instead, he starts talking incoherently to me about my friendship with Lucius Malfoy and how he always keeps me close to him at Death Eater gatherings. His voice is animated as he explains that there is clearly a connection between us. Since Lucius took me under his wing, I will admit that I used to follow and idolize him.

"He's just so amazing," I say quickly,

"Well, I can be amazing," Regulus chides,

My gaze trails at him as I turn the faucet on and splash water at him.

"You know there's a spell for that?" Regulus says,

"I don't have the energy to conjure up a water spell to make you wet!" I exclaimed,

Regulus lets out a laugh.

"I'm already drenched,"

Our friendship provides me with boundless, unadulterated affection, yet I don't deserve friendship. I shouldn't even try to be a friend because I don't even know how to be one.

"You should probably get going now," I say,

Regulus looks directly into my eyes, and for the first time in perhaps as many years, as I've known him, his expression is completely inscrutable.

"At least, let me help you take off your apron,"


I can take off my apron, I thought to myself, but before I knew it, he had already wrapped his arms around my waist to untie the strings, pulling off the apron on me, as he smiled at me.

"Reg!" I exclaimed, surprised.

"Shh, there's no need to shout, I'm right here," Regulus whispered in a gentle voice.

"Can you please just go?" I say with a loud whisper.


"It's late, we have a curfew, it's 9:22, but by the time I finish up, it'd be impossible to get back before 10,"

Regulus looks at me without uttering a response.

"Please?" I say, to force him out.

"Okay," Regulus responds taking a few steps back as his back hits the wooden burgundy door, he waves me off.

I exhaled a breath of relief and turned off the lights. I had to remind myself, in order to keep my sanity intact, that Purebloods and Half-Bloods are obviously not meant to be friends.

When I closed up the shop, locking the doors, I saw that Regulus was still outside waiting.

"You didn't have to wait for me, Reg," I say approaching him, sounding a bit disappointed that he's still there.

"Oh, but I want to, I don't want my brother and his group of friends to attack you when you're alone," Regulus says,

The way that he said that made my heart drop, if I could cry, then I would describe this moment as me crying silently since I had never been cared for by anybody but Lily.

"I guess right now, you're sort of my only friend," I say nervously.

Regulus exchanges a small chuckle.

"Then, as your only friend, can I ask you something?" Regulus whispers,

"Absolutely," I respond softly.

"I wanted to ask you if you would spend your summer with me,"

I hesitate, staring into Regulus's eyes, wondering why a person of his tier would want to hang out with someone like me who is lower on the social scale, much less want to spend the entire summer with me.

"Why me?" I ask softly,

"I know that as a member of the Black family, we won't be able to marry, but there's no rules or regulations saying that we can't have relationships with muggle-borns or half-bloods, so, I am careful with words when I'm around you because...well, I like you, Severus,"

This spring, Lucius Malfoy made a similar statement to me, but we already know what would happen if we went that route. Although I've never been against same-sex partnerships, I believe that pursuing a relationship without considering marriage will just cause additional pain. For someone as amazing as Lucius Malfoy and Regulus Black, family acceptance and prestige might be their priority.

Given my family's history of dissolution, I would prefer a lifelong marriage to a brief, transient fling.

"I–I don't know what to say," I stammered,

Regulus charmed out his Nimbus 998 broomstick as he sat at the tip inviting me to sit behind him.

"You don't have to say anything at all, let's go, we have a curfew, remember?"

I sit behind him with my legs bent over the broom, not between my legs, as I lean over and wrap my arms around him.

"I–I don't take flying classes," I admit.

Regulus chuckled.

"Is that supposed to make me like you less?"

I tighten my hold on him as he turns back to look at me.

"That's not what I...Reg..."

As the wind buffets our faces, his broom begins to lift off. I need him to become uninterested in me. If all he wants to be is my friend, that's one thing, but if he wants to be more, it could strain our friendship.

"You know when Wulfric said if you're lucky, a Weasly would marry you, I actually thought, if I were a Weasly, I'd marry you,"

I'm at a loss for words when I hear the sadness in his voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really good at this," Regulus says softly,

My head rests against his back as I clutch around his waist tighter.

"It must be hard to be a Black," I whispered.

Regulus chuckled softly.

"Severus Black doesn't sound too bad, it suits you,"

I smile.

The ride wasn't long as it would've been if I had returned on foot. While landing, I immediately let go of him, but he continued to tease me. He's a year younger. Having crushes are normal, it's just a passing phase, before he knows it, it never even happened.

"You know, Regulus Snape doesn't sound too bad either," I say,

A smile creases on his lips.

"I could take on that name if that would make you say yes."

His eyes trail on mine as I experience a flush of embarrassment.

"I actually don't think it's a good idea for us to become more than-"

"Is there someone else?"

I paused before, giving a nod.

"Is he...also a pureblood?"

I nod again.

"Wealthy?" Regulus says softly.

I nodded.

A smile appears on Regulus's lips as he lets out a soft laugh.

"Aww, Sevy, don't live in denial, he's me, isn't he?"

I wish he was you, Reg, but no, he's below you, he's completely worthless. But that swine is all I could think about. It pains me to think that I could be so foolish and that this is my reality. I wanted to drown in my own pool of disgust.

"No, Reg, he's someone else," I let out seriously.

The chilly wind blowing between us, made Regulus charm out an extra cloak to wrap over me since I was still in my butterbeertender uniform.

"I can respect that he's someone else, but I'm not going to let that ruin our friendship,"

Feeling relieved, I step closer to him and wrap my arms around him. Regulus bites the bottom of his lips as he glances down at me.

"You're too perfect to be really true," I mutter,

"Am I perfect because I share the same status as him?" Regulus asks in a whisper,

I shake my head.

"He's not even worth liking, he's an animal, meant to be in a muggle's circus, him and his friends,"

"If he ever jumps the fence and runs from the circus, there's a wild beast named Regulus waiting in training."

I smile at him.

"How I adore you," I uttered.

"I adore you more," He says teasingly.

Our laughter lances together as we head inside and go to the Slytherin Common rooms together.

The handling of the rejection went more easily. Regulus really is kind. With him, a future doesn't seem so bad. The thing is that I already know that I will look back to this very moment and regret that I chose a swine who makes fun of me instead of someone who actually cares for me.

After washing up in the bathroom with Regulus, we head to the dorms together, and gather our belongings, as we prepare for our summertime farewell in the morning.

Regulus is in a separate room from mine, just down the hall. I lay in bed, dragging the blanket over my shoulders and my head as I traced back to this evening's events, I laughed and roll around in bed as I tried to keep my excitement to myself.

The sound of someone tripping alerted me, I reached for my wand and whispered a lumos, but nothing was in sight. Suddenly, James Potter reveals himself as he lifts off his invisibility cloak and climbs in bed with me.

"What are you doing!?" I whispered loudly,

"What are you doing?" James says back.

I turned away from him, trying to ignore him, as I hugged the blanket. Abruptly, I feel his arms spooning me in for a hug, his lips pressing to the top of my left shoulder blade.

"I saw that," James whispers,

Taking his arms off of me, I sit up and point at the door to instruct him to leave.

James adjusts himself in the bed, yawns, takes off his spectacles, and pretends to sleep.

"Get out, Potter." I growl,

I gently prodded him a couple of times, trying not to wake the others. I lift the blanket off of him out of frustration, and he instantly pulls me in and presses his face into my chest.

"Why do you do this to me, Sev?" James queries.

"What?" I ask, perplexed.

"Why do you have to lie to me?"

Although I'm not sure if I like Regulus or not, I couldn't help but become excited because the chances of someone else being interested in me are extremely slim. However, as James pulled away, his agonized eyes stared at me. I force myself to look away, but James's gaze has always held me captive.

"When have I lied to you?" I whispered.

James pulled me close to him, causing my body to collapse over his. I straighten my legs, sit on top of him, and pull the blankets over us while letting his natural aroma waft through my nose.

I sense James's hesitation seconds before I hear it come out of his mouth.

"You have matching wand sleeve handles, and ride on the same broomstick, even bathe together, if you don't like him, then why do you do these things with him?"

I let my silence answer him.

"I know that being a seeker in quidditch guarantees that he's a good broom rider, but I'm not bad at it either,"

James and I exchange blank looks as my heart tightens at his candor. I want to know why he does what he does, but it just seems to me that if I try to figure out why, I'm going to lose my sanity.

"It's late, Potter," I whisper.

James gaze spoke for him, disappointed at my response.

"Answer me first, Do you like him?"

I think of Regulus and a smile curls on my lips.

"I wouldn't say that I don't like him,"

Our closeness prompted me to make adjustments so that my weight wouldn't harm him. I roll to the left side of the bed, and instantly, James rolls over and hovers over me.

"Is he all that amazing?" James murmurs,

Nodding, I turn to the left, because really, Regulus is way out of my league.

"Is it because of Sirius?" James asks,

He gives his friend too much credit for interfering with my decision, whether or not that is the reason or not.

I stay silent.

He's staring at me with curiosity, and I try not to notice by looking away.

"Sev, may I kiss you?" He murmurs,

I sneer, returning my attention to him.

"You never asked me for my permission before, why are you asking me now?"

James reaches for my left hand and folds his right fingers with mine. His eyes drop to my mouth and then, with his left hand, he finds my right hand and folds them together.

"Would you rather, I not ask at all?"

His hand gives mine a little squeeze, and I let out a small gasp. Hazel eyes locked onto mine, and I'm certain that he can see right through me without legilimens. How empty I am now without Lily.

Leaning in slowly, he presses his mouth closer to mine, repeating the latter.

"Would you rather, I not ask at all?"

I'd rather you not suffocate me this way, I respond in my mind.

No matter how nasty he is, how hurtful his remarks are, or how much he torments me, I can't help but have too little regard for myself to embrace or admit these feelings. It might make me seem stupid or stubborn, but I'm powerless over it.

This would be my moment to run if James wasn't on top of me, that I would flee from these emotions.

These feelings that are incomprehensible and...


Chapter 15: J: 14 Figured out.

Chapter Text


Severus is not answering my query; he is just staring at my face. I slowly lean in and bring my mouth closer to his, echoing my words.

"Would you rather, I not ask at all?"

Wordlessly, he slides his left hand from my fold and gently pushes me off.

"Go to your dorm, Potter," Severus whispers, turning away from me.

What he did with Regulus is unjust to me; I can see he is losing interest of being caressed, cuddled, and kissed by me. I had assumed I had seen every expression on his face, every unlovely part of him. Parts of him that Lily loved that I couldn't comprehend before are now laid out in front of me.

"Do you not want me anymore?" I repeat my unanswered question firmly.

I feel shame coiling in the pit of my stomach and tingling in the back of my spine. It's a familiar emotion, but one I haven't put my mind to it. As I look at him, he can barely look at me, and that alone makes me feel unwanted. It's so selfish of me to be hurt when he's lived through this emotion everyday.

"Sorry," I whisper,

This moment is so tense that it's suffocating, but I know that no amount of apology will make up for everything I've done to him.

"I'm sorry," I say a bit louder this time.

"Are you?"

I don't even miss the lisp in his voice as he says the words, and the guilt pierces my chest like a knife because I don't even deserve to hear his sweet voice.

Nodding, I started telling him how I had persuaded my friends to help me erase everyone's memory about the incident, how it turned into a competition, and how, for the first time, it felt like an honest victory. I paused in between as I expressed that I was actually hurting myself the entire time I was humiliating him, and when I threatened to take off his pants, I knew that I went too far. Because of the applause, things escalated, and when I checked with Lily, I didn't think she wouldn't care about what would happen to him next.

At that point, I realized that I needed to clear the air and that I had ruined what little friendship that they had left.

"If I could turn back time, I'd make sure, I'd restrain myself, I'm undeserving of even being in your presence, I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want to live feeling guilty ruining your friendship with Evans, I don't want to keep tormenting you just because you exist, I don't understand it either, but it's truly just because I can't get you out of my head," Tears began to fill up in my eyes, as my voice cracked,

"I—I'm sorry,"

With my tears dripping over his pallid face, Severus continued to stare at me. His eyes were lifeless. My heart is racing so quickly that it hurts while I wait for him to say something. If he doesn't forgive me; that's okay, I don't deserve forgiveness either way.

He blinks his eyes.

"Say it again," Severus whispers,

"I'm sorry," My voice comes out strained, my eyes welling up, and my bottom lip trembling.

Severus lean forward, his lips pressed against mine, catching my broken apology in whimpers of silent tears. His hands alternately caress and squeeze my length, causing me to gasp as I open my mouth in need of a release. I keep my hands to myself, allowing him to explore me, Severus scoots up, switching positions, and as I roll on my back, he climbs on top of me.

"Do you want me to take it off the muggle way, or would you prefer me to take it off with magic?" Severus whispered.

I blink my eyes as I take his right hand and wrap it around my neck tie.

"Undress me, Half-Blood Prince,"

Severus pulls my Gryffindor tie off of me and quickly removed the gray knitted vest over my white dress shirt, I keep my eyes on him. The way he's unbuttoning my shirt is a bit clumsy. When he got to my pants, he pulled it down rather impatiently.

"Who wants to see me take off Potter's pants?" Severus says,

I smile at what he just said.

"Do it, Do it, Do it," I chant softly.

Even though a lot happened, that was our final night together in the Slytherin dorm room.

The following day,

Everyone got ready to get on the Hogwarts Express to return home. Instead of riding on the train, I took Severus on a broom ride underneath my invisibility cloak to the Potter Manor.

Upon landing,

The way that he looks in my Gryffindor cloak is all so new. I take his hand, and as our feet meet the entrance of the front gates, through the speaker, I express that I have a guest.

The gates opened, and immediately Severus lets go of my hand.

"What's wrong?" I ask,

"I'm not sure I could do this," Severus says softly.

I pull him close to me and examine him.

"We're already here, or would you rather I book you a hotel for your visit?" I ask.

Severus nodded.

I chuckled as I took his right hand and kissed the top of it.

"At least let me introduce you to my family, I promise, you won't have to stay the night here, I'll get you a hotel room,"

I take his hand and head through the gate. Greeting each individual in uniform. They acknowledged Severus, but he shyly returned each individual with a shy nod, hardly uttering a word. Once I got to the third floor where my room is, I unloaded all of my school supplies, went through my closet, and selected a simple outfit to have Severus try them on.

"But its," Severus stutters,

"It's what muggles do right? They wear their boyfriends, clothes?"


I focused on his reaction, acknowledging his reluctance because I knew that we were not official.

"Try it on, let me help you,"

Taking the hogwarts uniform off of him, he struggles to let me help him when he allowed Regulus to untie an apron on him.

"Let me help you," I repeated.

"N—No!" Severus let out.

Taking my wand, Severus covers his face as I removed his clothes.

"Come," I say,

As Severus approaches me slowly, my heart falters as I put on my simple orange t-shirt over his thin body. I assist him in pulling the drawstrings to tie the black jogger trousers, and as I do so, I notice the kiss mark on his left neck, which makes me smile.

"Kiss," I whispered,

"Here? In your room?" Severus says, looking around.

Chuckling, I place my hands on his hips, drawing him in closer.

"Where else?" I respond dumbly,

Keeping his eyes away from me, he shakes his head.

"It's not...appropriate,"

He's right, it's not, but who cares?

It's my room.

I kiss his forehead.

"There," I whispered.


"It's James,"

Nodding, he leans over and wraps his arms around me. I lift him up and wrapped his legs over my waist. Looking up at him, his emotionless eyes glance down at me.

"I can't take it any longer," I say,

"But last night, which is only a few hours ago, we did- you know- that already,"

I walk us towards my bed and spin as I sit against the bedframe, with his body on top of my legs.

"Last night alone is not enough," I whisper,

Severus doesn't say anything.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Severus arches an eyebrow.

"Can we not do that here?" Severus whispers,

I sniffed him in and shake my head inside of his chest.

"Why..." I complained,

"It's just, this is your parents hard earned home, why would they let their kid bring in another and dirty the very room that the family has constructed for years,"

With the simplest of words, he is changing me. Digging himself so deep beneath the surface of my being, I don't know any other way to show him how much I want whatever it is we're having to become something.

"Okay then," I whisper in defeat. " I guess that makes sense,"

Severus smiles softly.

"But you can't change your mind when we get to the hotel," I mumble.

"That's what hotels are for, James,"

A knot forms in my chest and a blush spreads up my neck and onto my cheeks.

What kind of sorcery is this?

"Say that again," I whisper,

"That's what hotels are for,"

I blinked.

"No, the last part,"

"Are for,"

I pull back and his eyes soften, the humor being replaced by adoration, as he shifts his gaze to me.


I smile and press my nose to his, trying to hold on to this moment a bit longer, because I'm afraid these moments are limited and won't last forever.


My parents were happy to meet Severus once I had cleaned my room and brought the necessities with me. No suspicions were exchanged, though, because I had not disclosed that he was a Slytherin. I could tell my Father was causing Severus a great deal of discomfort when he asked him if he played quidditch. Severus shook his head and my Father continued questioning him if he took a Transfiguration class.

Although my mother didn't ask Severus any questions, she implied that we had nothing in common with her remark. I attempt to avoid turning it into a debate. Excusing us, as I initiated our leave.

"You don't have to go, dearheart," Mother says,

"Pleasure to return home, Mother, but I shouldn't stay," I say,

"Let him go," Father says,

I grabbed Severus's hand as soon as we exited the gates, and we dashed to the bus station, where our summer vacation will officially start.

When the bus arrived, I let Severus step inside first.

The number of people was a good 13.

Severus chose a seat near the window in the very back. I take a seat beside him and press my face against his neck. I slide my fingertips along his thigh, and he quickly removes my hand. Even without words, something as simple as this can bring me such joy, I smile as I feel the warmth of his body next to me.

After 7 stops, I glance up at Severus as he's slowly blinking his eyes, looking out the window, fighting the urge to not fall asleep. I sit up and wrap my left arm around him, pull his head over my shoulder, and smile at him as his face turns red upon locking eyes at me.

"You can fall asleep," I say softly.

"Umm..." Severus utters, slowly blinking his eyes.

"Go on, sleep, my Half-Blood Prince,"


I lean in and press my lips to his right neckline before he falls asleep. Severus shoves me away, causing me to gasp in shock.

"We're in public!" Severus whispers loudly.

"Are there rules for public snogging too?" I mumble,

"Of course, things like that are meant to be done in secret,"

I laugh.

"Ohh, I get it now, you don't want anyone to see us because I'm your secret lover,"

"Don't believe the lies that you feed yourself, who's your secret lover?" Severus says,

"You, of course." I utter,

Severus turns away, resting his head against the window. I turn him back towards me because my shoulder should be more comfortable than the window.

"Mm..." Severus groans,

"Do you like that window more than you like me?" I ask,

"'s not that serious,"

"I should Diffindo it, how's that for serious?" I say, annoyed.

Severus laughs.

"There's this thing in the muggle realm called therapy, perhaps you should try that,"

"Do you think that I'm crazy?" I whisper,

"Oh? So, you know what crazy is?" Severus says emotionlessly.

Nothing he says or does anymore could keep me away, therefore, I can't feel angry or pick a fight with him like I used to.

I lift his right hand up and play with his fingers, thinking of a spell to write on each finger.

"Incarcerous," I whisper, as I charmed out a pen to write it over his thumb.

"The hell?" Severus says,

"These are the spells that you are allowed to use on me in secret," I whisper,

Severus chuckled softly.

"Accio," I wrote, for his index finger.

"Impedimenta," I wrote, for his middle finger in case he wants to jinx me to slow my movement in bed to admire my body.

"Obscuro," I'm already blind, but a blindfold is harmless.

"Unbreakable Vow," on his pinky finger.

The bus comes to a stop, and immediately, the sky has grown dark. Severus looks at the markings on his fingers, but primarily the very last one.

"What kind of vow," Severus asks,

"That you'll always love Lily Evans,"

Severus arches an eyebrow.

"Do you want me to die?"

I smiled, relieved.

"You've stopped loving her?" I ask in a whisper.

Severus shakes his head.

"Lily has always been there for me, James. Lily put her reputation at danger in her own house to be my friend, and even if we are currently at odds, I will always love her regardless of whether I choose to marry someone else or not. Lily will always be loved by me, always," He replies at length.

"That's a bit deep, is there room in your always to include me in it?"

"You're not my Always, James," Severus says,


The walk to the hotel was brief as we checked in, and was given a key card to our room, I try to fight my conscience to not get upset about something as trivial as that.

I had that exact same talk with Lily previously. They are in love with each other without realizing it. The problem is, I also truly like both of them. I'm not sure which one I like more, though.

Perhaps, after summer ends, I'll have that...

Figured out.

Chapter 16: S: 15 Ignore?

Chapter Text

Severus Snape

The sun peeks through the window, hinting at the start of the morning. I run my fingers over the delicate curls of the wizard prince's hair as I glance at his back, still peacefully asleep. I take my wand and draw the blinds to darken the room so as not to wake him. I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, feeling my feet hit the damp pants on the ground.

"Sev..." James' tired voice utters,

"Mm?" I respond.

I gather our soiled laundry and place it on the bed's side. James stays silent, but as soon as I stood up, he tightened his grip on my hand and drew me in for a morning kiss. We slowly clamp our mouths together, just sucking, and even though we've both dried up from the perspiration from the previous evening, the odor of what we did clings to the bed linens.

"Mhmm," I pull away, but he comes closer, his lips brushing against mine.

"If...I can't be your Always, can I be your Forever?" James murmured,

"What kind of muggle romance book are you reading?" I teased,

"Ours," He responds,

He then lays me down, slowly caressing my nipples, and causing every muscle in my body to give in. I can't help but feel so sensitive that I'm tensing up and trying not to make embarrassing noises.

"James...Haah," I moan, and tremble as he puts his tongue inside of my mouth.

"We did that last night—it's still fresh, we've only slept for 6 hours," I say,

"6 hours is too long," James murmurs in between kisses.

I retreat, feeling his hazel eyes follow me with a hungry gaze.

"At least, let's get cleaned up first," I say.

"Okay then." James gave a defeated whisper, "I guess we can do that first,"

His handsome face digs into my neck, nibbling a new mark over the one that's beginning to fade.

When I got to the bathroom, I noticed that there was a shower cubicle across from the small, circular bath tub on the right side of the corner. James is accustomed to that type of running water, so I assume that he would choose to take a shower. I turned on the faucet, waited till the water reached the appropriate level, and then I dove in.

This hotel was able to provide their guests with three essential oil fragrances, I glanced at all three and went with the one that I'm most familiar with. By adding a few drops to the lukewarm water, I figured James must've gone back to sleep. Relaxing, I hear the door close abruptly.

James approached me slowly and deliberately, he allowed the towel to drop to the ground to his feet.

"What are you doing?" I inquired.

James gets into the tub and grabs my right foot and placed it against his lips.

"I have to start from the bottom to the top to earn a spot in your Always,"

He kisses my toes and then brushes his lips across my ankle. Seeing him in this state undoubtably arouses me, making my entire being tremble. His lips skim my heel, up to my ankle, and his eyes glance up to look at me and then back to focus on his pecks on my foot. He then trails delicate kisses up to my calf, carefully making his way to my inner thigh. Unaccustomed to this feeling, I squirm beneath him.

"James!" Pulling my leg back with a ticklish sensation, I rasped.

"Stay still," He whispers,

And then abruptly drags my right leg over his left shoulder, as he proceeds to move his mouth slowly up to my hip bone, to my belly button, across my chest, and finally to halt just at my collarbone.

"Sev, may I kiss you?" He murmurs,

I stay silent.

"Sev, may I?"

He hovered over me, allowing my right leg to drop off his shoulder. I can feel him hard pressing against my abdomen.

I lick my lips, lean in, put my arms around his shoulders, and kiss him, our tongues severing till we could barely breathe, there's no type of therapy that could save me. Every time he pauses and raises his eyes to gaze at me, I blink slowly in anticipation of his lips meeting mine once more.

"Don't stop," I whisper.

James sticks his left finger within my warm, sensitive tunnel, causing me to gasp and possibly turn scarlet. Excitement and ecstasy replace the pain that was there a moment before.

"Ah...James," I bite down my lips.

James increases to two fingers while maintaining eye contact with me. Between our enraptured kisses, I flinched and moaned as he covered my mouth suffocating me with exhilaration, using his fingers to accelerate the momentum.

"Am I part of your Always, now?" James whispers,

"You're a part of the killing curse..." I whimpered.

Pulling from the kiss, James lies back in the tub, the water level rises around his waist. He bends his legs a little bit as he initiates that I get in front of him. Facing his feet, I straddle his lap and slowly descend upon his hard shaft.

Leaning forward to where my palms and knees lay flat on the bath tile floors. I move forward and backward while he clings to my waist.

I'm not sure how my body feels inside of him, but I'm a bit embarrassed to be in this position, but all I know is that when I turn to look at him, he's smiling thinly at me and his eyes aren't the same swine that I'm used to seeing. It's abnormal, but I like the way he's looking at me right now.

He moves his hips suddenly, pushing himself deeper and harder. His size is so massive that I'm afraid it would shatter me, but all of my concern vanished when I felt his fingertips cling onto me and his lips gently kissing my butt cheeks.

"Startled you?" He murmurs,

"J—James...Uhm..." I bit my bottom lips, nodding.

He stays there for a little while before moving. I wanted to tell him how gorgeous he is, how he turned a lukewarm bath into a hot one, and how sexy all of this is, but I was too shy to say it out loud.

"I like when you say my name," James says, as he works on thrusting himself in and out as before. I try to bite back a moan, but let a few slipped out softly each time I turn back and lock eyes with him.

"Ah...Y—You're a killing curse for real!" I screamed,

After James pulled out, he turned me around to face him. He made me sit on his lap and as I had my arms around his shoulders, his eyes didn't leave me. Almost immediately, our lips touched, and he didn't even pause to allow me to breathe before our bodies reconnected. I gasped in between experiencing everything. He ran his fingers through my hair just before his climax.

"I'm not the killing curse, Sev," He whispers in my left ear, before kissing my cheek.

"I'm the deathly hallows,"

Just like that, I let out a release, the fluids splattered messily and I felt so embarrassed. I buried my face in James's chest and begged him not to stare at it floating, but before I could finish speaking, he kissed me and the whole world stopped momentarily.

"Why are you so bashful?" James whispers.

"I—I just...I don't know..." I stammer,

His sharp eyes look at me.

"Don't ever make a face like that to other wizards, I'd be so jealous, don't even make it to the mirror," James says,

"Are you a child or something, why would you get jealous of a mirror?" I murmur,

"I am a child, I'm fun, silly, playful, and also vulnerable, I like to be babied, cuddled, and pampered by my Half-Blood Prince,"

His remarks cause my face to heat up; it's both embarrassing and endearing at the same time.

As I prepare to put my arms around his neck and kiss him, I am reminded that I will never be able to have a relationship with James Potter since his family will not tolerate a Slytherin and his friends will never accept me.

"Hungry?" James murmurs,

I nod in response.

He gave me a quick kiss and pulled the tub stopper up.

"Let's go."

He put on his clothing for me today—a golden dress shirt with red stripes—with his wand. The trousers are colored black. He even included a boxer, which was not something I expected.

"Where did you get these?" I ask,

"The gift shop in Godric's Hollow," James answered,

"After what you did to me, you-"

"I'm sorry!"

James pulled me in for a hug to stop talking about the incident.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I'll change,"

Hearing those few words from him makes me smile uncontrollably; it sounds almost like a promise.

Over the first few days, he showed me how to fly a broom in an open golf field, and we did simple activities like going out to dine together. He also attempted to teach me transfiguration and chose a black stag as my Animagus, but I was more interested in becoming a black panther, but he told me that a black panther is not compatible with a Stag.

At night, he would show me his patronus as a white stag, it was a lot smaller, but it was bright and beautiful at the same time.

Just like he is.

"Here, let me teach you," James says, holding my right hand in his teaching me the wand movements to conjure one up.

The first few came out like little specs of light, but after a few more tries, the patronus revealed a small white doe.

"It' frustrating..." I whisper disappointedly.

"It's not supposed to be easy, you're doing great for a starter," James whispered.

His lack of clarity about what we are stings me, it's like in all those muggle movies, books, and animated shows where the protagonists instantly know they're destined to be together when they find their soulmate upon meeting and time suddenly reveals that they're the one.

Impossible to expierence, but here I am stealing moments of half of him and pretending that he's mine. I know that he's never ever going to swallow his pride. These moments are never going to become more than a secret of us.

I got too comfortable waking up next to James Potter, having breakfast in his pajamas, taking baths with him, and feeling his lips next to mine, for all of the summers that I've had, this is the first one that I don't want it to end, because once we return back to Hogwarts,

All of this, will soon cease.


My 6th year at Hogwarts turned out to be my first year without Lily as a friend, which made me hang out more with my Death Eater friends. It was impossible to ignore Lily as Gryffindors and Slytherins took Potions together, but I've also seen that James has begun to get closer to her. They wear the same colors, it's painful, but I can endure this.

The days went by, and even though the marauders' methods of bullying me were less torturous, the one thing that hurt me more than the hexes that James places on me was when he would meet me in secret and we would do you-know-what-together. However it's not the same as last year, because after he finishes, he would ask me questions about Lily, like what she liked and whether or not she thought he was handsome.

I shed silent tears as I experience the excruciating agony of nodding and informing him that Lily finds him handsome as well. He spoons me in tiredly, and I have to accept the reality that I was never really an option to begin with.

Barty Crouch Jr. and Regulus have a toxic relationship. Barty is impulsive and prone to picking up arguments. Even though he is two years younger, not many people are brave enough to cross him. The professors despise him, and Filch gets furious whenever he sees him. He's spent more time in detention than anyone can recall, but he's never been kept there for a long time since, well, he can hide his biggest deeds. If Regulus was going to be with anyone, he ought to have chosen Evan—he deserves better.

I saw Regulus sobbing on the same couch that James and I had done nude things on while I was passing by the Slytherin common room. He glances up at me as I get closer to him.

"Hug?" I whisper,

Immediately, Regulus gets up and hugs me, his tears drenched over my robe as I pat the back of his back gently.

"Take a deep breath," I whisper,

Reluctantly, Regulus lifts his eyes to mine.

"I did."

"Take another one," I demand.

Regulus inhales and then exhales.

The oversized sweat pants and hoodie he had on belonged to Barty. Upon seeing his dejected expression, I felt compelled to put the Crucio curse on Barty for causing my dear Regulus to be in this condition.

"What'd he do this time?" I ask softly.

"H—He questioned my allegiance to the Darklord, stating that the one thing he detests more than anything else is a Death Eater who deserts their master at the most critical moment. He anticipates him punishing them. Even if that person were me shall I ever betray him, it was like, he was saying that he doesn't care about me..."

The more he spat about that prick, I just couldn't comprehend what good he saw in him.

"Reg, for whatever reason why you like him, I do not understand why, but don't let him drive you crazy, he...he's not good for you, I say this because I care for your safety and for your wellbeing,"

Regulus nodded his head, the tears come to a stop as a soft smile forms on his lips.

"When I graduate next year and officially become a Death Eater and if we're both not in a relationship, would you become my boyfriend?"

I smiled and nodded.


Even though we just made a pact, and I'm not entirely over that of James Potter, I'm not totally against it.

"Soon your sir name will change to Severus Black," Regulus utters,

I laugh.

"You better grow up quickly, or I might just become Severus Malfoy," I teased.

Regulus looks at me with concern.

"That was your secret lover?" Regulus asks softly.

I don't respond.

"I won't pry, but he's getting married soon to my cousin, are you alright?"

I swallowed since the scenario was similar, even if it was a different pureblood who was giving me so much misery, I just nodded sadly.

Another hug was shared between us.

It's now the third term; house points will be awarded shortly, the Quidditch game will play for their final season, and summer vacation will soon begin, but what about the following year?

Will things between James and I soon fade, or, is that just something that I should ...


Chapter 17: J: 16 Ends.

Chapter Text


I was startled out of my surprise by how quickly Severus masters the art of broom riding.

We're racing around the tiny small town. I follow Severus as he darts through narrow, lofty buildings. It's exciting and exhilarating to catch up to him and match his speed. When night fell, we would sit on our brooms under the moon and kiss.

Severus was mysterious in every way. His lackluster flirtation and his tendency to duck from situations are the little things about him that I found so endearing.

Every moment spent with him changed my entire view of him. In between honest moments, I tried to understand my feelings, the way I see it is that he's selfless and lovable.

On the very last night that I spent with him before we returned to Hogwarts, I wanted to know how he feels about Lily, and if he was still broken. I lay my head on his lap that evening, with our patronus as the only lighting that evening replacing the stars. It was a private moment, just us alone exchanging our feelings.

"It's just, my Father would rather I be with someone from Gryffindor, it's complicated, stupid really." I sigh,

Severus's eyes gaze at me as he brushed my bangs to the side.

"You don't have to explain yourself, James,"

I blinked as I gaped at him.

"But I just want you to understand that—"

"You should pursue Lily," Severus utters softly.


"Your parents would love her, she's wonderful, the best witch in Gryffindor, she's smart, beautiful, she fits all of your current surroundings expectations, your friends will welcome her with open arms, and—"

I sit up and lean in and kissed him from finishing his sentence.

"I don't think that we're meant to be..." Severus finished with a whisper,

I gently laid him down and gave him a deeper kiss while folding my fingers with his. It's true that's how I saw Lily Evans, too; yet, hearing it from Severus hurts differently than hearing it directly from my friends—who tell me that we're destined to be together like two parts of a puzzle. I pulled away and kept my gaze on him trying to understand him.

"Would you take a chance with me?" I whispered,

Severus shake his head.

"Do you not like me, at all?" I ask.

"I don't," Severus utters,

"Not even a little?" I whisper.

"Lily likes you,"

My eyes filled with tears as I withdrew. Severus got up and hugged me from behind even though my heart has never been wounded in this situation. It's too painful to ignore.

"Y—You should get to know her," He whispers,

"Kay," I swallowed. "I will,"


During my 6th year at Hogwarts, Severus and I reverted to our previous ways. I was aware that Lily Evans was flawless in every way, but I also had a reputation to uphold as the best boy, therefore, I was changing into a respectable wizard, and she started to see me as such, our small talks and moments escalated; Since Lily and Severus were no longer friends, it was simpler for me to spend the day with the stunning Lily Evans and the evening with Severus.

As a result, I didn't worry that Lily would ever find out about us.

After I hex Severus and make a big deal out of it in front of my friends, I still meet him in private and make up for it, even if my feelings for him have become a little sour. He obviously doesn't want me anymore because the kisses are becoming tense. He acts like sex with me has reverted into a chore, we don't lay in bed and cuddle and just stare into each other's eyes for long hours before falling asleep anymore.

Once I finish, I just sort of leave because he could barely stand the sight of me. I purposefully bring Lily up because it was him who wants us to be together and I make sure that I say it proud.

For instance, I tell him, that I showed Lily how to make a doe as her patronus. I also took Lily on a date where we would broom race. Severus has become numb to my talks of Lily, all that we had before are gone now.

I just hope that I hurt him as much as he hurt me.

Regulus and Barty Crouch Jr. are romantically involved, and Sirius has directed all of his animosity towards Barty because all he ever does is make Regulus cry. Sirius has somewhat matured and moved past playing practical jokes on Severus. Remus is the same. Peter approached me and let me know that he had known about Severus and me for a while because he is a rat, which is just as effective as my invisibility cloak. The more he talked about how he is a nerd, and how he were similar to Severus, that I should consider him, followed by his confession letting me know that he had feelings for me.

I've always got a feeling, but to hear it directly gives me shivers. After he finished, I erased his memories, including the ones that involved Severus and of course, his feelings for me. I don't have the energy or time to navigate through this.

Now that we are in our third term, house points will be awarded shortly, the final season of Quidditch will be played, and summer vacation will soon begin. I have asked Lily to spend the summer with me and she didn't even hesitate.

Everything eventually fit together and fell into place as it should have. I don't allow my sentiments for Severus to show, even if they were clearly present. With Lily, I've discovered happiness; we formally become a couple in our 7th year at Hogwarts. All of the life walks were essentially typical. My family adored Lily, my freinds accepted her, everything that was perfect about us became, us.

Lily mentioned wanting to make amends with Severus during the second term. It would be better if we didn't see one other, so naturally, I did everything in my power to prevent her from reestablishing her friendship with Severus again out of concern for our secret. How could I completely avoid him if they were to become friends again?

Everything has gone smoothly for us, but if they were to rekindle their friendship, it would be difficult for our secret to not be discovered.

"James," Lily snapped, "He's my friend,"

"Lily, he called you that word," I responded, "He doesn't deserve to be in your life,"

"James! "He's my best friend, and I forgave him. If you'd just spend a day with him, you'd know that he's not that bad," Lily exclaims frustratedly, "You don't even know him to have a place to judge him."

I couldn't win with this one.

"Fine, but leave me out of it," I say irritedly. " I want nothing to do with him,"

"I will," Lily responds calmly, "You know what, it's so sad that I can accept your circle of friends no matter how flawed they are, when you can't even accept my one friend,"

I remain silent because I was unable to add to that. It appears that I despise him on the surface since that's how it all began. It would also be safer for us if she believed that and never suspects us.

As Lily enters my embrace, I throw my arms around her and acknowledge that their friendship outlasted all forms of love.

"Do you love him?" I ask in a whisper,

"Always," Lily responds,

It was that moment when I just knew that separating them was impossible.

It didn't look as bothersome as it did in the past when Severus and Lily were leaning on each other while sitting beneath a tree, with Gryffindor being the house color and Slytherin being the house color adjacent. Peter, Sirius, and Remus stayed at the lakeside with me. Everybody's looking at them, wands down.

"So, you're okay with them?" Sirius asks me.

"Mhmm," I nodded.

"You truly have become the best boy, Prongs," Remus says,

"I don't have a choice, Lily made it clear that nothing could break their friendship, not even me,"

"What if she's in love with him?" Peter asks softly,

I keep my eyes on Lily brushing Severus's dark hair and a smile curls on my lips.

"Then, I step away," I whisper,

"Wow, that deep, huh," Sirius comments with a tease.

"So grown now, Prongs," Remus adds.

I laugh.

Severus formally joined the Death Eaters shortly after graduation, but Lily informed me that didn't affect who he is to her. The following year, I proposed to her and she accepted. The secret of Severus and me would never come out, and so I've decided to live with it in silence.

Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster, established the Order of the Phoenix, a clandestine organization, to fight the Death Eaters, who support he who should not be named, because a war was developing and everyone was prepared to die. Among the members of the Order of the Phoenix are Sirius Black, Alice Longbottom, Frank Longbottom, Rubeus Hagrid, Hestia Jones, Remus Lupin, Aberforth Dumbledore, Dedalus Diggle, Minerva McGonagall, Marlene McKinnon, and many more including Lily and I.

We reasoned that while we did everything we could to fight for the order, our fifteen-month-old son Harry would be safer in Godric's Hollow, and so during the day, I left Lily with Harry while I went out to the battlefield, where it's dangerous.

This evening, with Hestia Jones, Frank Longbottom, were called to deal with three death eaters by the entrance to Howarts. Bellatrix Lestrange and Alice Longbottom were trading harm spells in the midst of a fight. Severus and Evan Rosier stood to one side, speaking quietly rather than engaging in combat.

"I got the pale, looking one," Hestia says, wand ready.

I stop him and move in front of him.

"Let me handle him," I utter, gripping on my wand.

I pointed my wand at Severus, at whom I had pointed my wand at a billion times, with little effort, but this time for a very different purpose. His lifeless eyes looks up to me and immediately he draws out his wand.

"Severus Snape," I say softly, circling around him.

"James Potter," He utters back.

My thoughts are filled with all that we ever were—his laugh, our caress, those times when we were alone together spending one summer in secret—that all merge into one as we follow each other's footsteps in a never-ending circle while holding our wands ready.

"Let's go to the forbidden forest," I say,

"And why should I take orders from you?" Severus says,

"You've changed," I say,

Severus scoffed.

"Why does that matter to you?"

I trembled as I whispered an Expelliarmus. The matching wand handle etched with Black was all still there.

"I hear your boyfriend disappeared," I say,

Severus charges at me and punched me in the face.

"Don't speak of him that way! He didn't disappear!!"

I grab onto his wrists and wrestle him as I roll him over to observe his expressions.

"Legilimens," I uttered,

"You bastard!" Severus wriggled trying to escape from my hold.

Without his wand, he couldn't counter it, and I dived into his mind viewing his moments with us, and even viewed the ones with Regulus in it, so that's what happened, he died an unfortunate death, that's why he's so aggressive about the subject at hand.

But the moments that I see about us were still so raw and real. I withdraw as I force him with me to the forbidden forest, on my broom.

"You swine, how dare you—" Severus says, refusing to hold on to me on the broom ride, but as soon as we landed, I casted a protection spell over us.

"Why do you have to lie to me?" I say,

"When have I lied to you!?" Severus snaps.

As soon as I return his wand to him, he shoots me with Sectumsempra, his hallmark spell. I had to be quick to block the red-colored cuts that come. He's being hostile, as I groan with irritation.

"Can you just put your wand down and talk to me!?" I shouted,

"No!" Severus screams, "I refuse!"

I never thought that, being alone with him for the first time in three years, I would still hesitate to injure him. I broke through every assault spell as I finally faced him, taking him by the right wrist and forcing his wand at me.

"Do you like me?" I ask,

"Not even for a moment," Severus lies again.

Blowing a breath, I let go of his wrist.

"If you don't like me then kill me," I whisper,

There was hesitation in his eyes.

"Don't think that I can't, Potter," Severus whispers,

I kept my gaze on him. He put away his wand and let out a quivering breath, instantly, I pulled him in and gave him a kiss. He had been lonely, and had been waiting patiently for Regulus to come back to him so that they could officially become official. The incessant nights of waiting for his return had demoralized him, and he didn't know how to deal with his emotions.

While I am kissing him, tears glide down from my eyes as I obliviate his memories of Regulus, even though they're minimal, I don't want him to live life grieving over him.

I kiss him a bit longer, before erasing whatever that's left of us, once I've felt satisfied enough, I withdraw and aimed my wand at him, he looked like a fragile doe in the headlights.

"Do you like me?" I ask once more.

"Do you like me?" Severus says as he draws out his wand.

I smile as I nod my head.

"I don't just like you, Sev, I loved you," I whispered.

Severus kept his eyes on me, unable to respond to that.

"So let me ask you once more—" I say,

"I liked you, James Potter," Severus says,

I felt overwhelming angst all of a sudden.
"Then why!?" I shouted, frustratedly, "Why didn't you take a chance with me...?"

Severus paused before speaking.
"I liked you, a lot, but our struggles are so difficult, and I was afraid of the feeling, of the constant fear of ruining your reputation, to me, you were like a Prince that should stay with your own kind, and deserved a Princess of the same tier, I gave up my Princess so that she could be with wizard Prince," Severus says,

I swallowed, trying to accept his honesty.
"So you would rather be the one suffering than see the one you love suffer," I whisper,
"Yes, James Potter,"
I bit down my bottom lips disappointingly, tears welling up from my eyes.

"Then, you haven't changed at all," I whispered,
"I'm sorry, my Half-Blood Prince,"
I stunned him with a stupefy, and as soon as he's been stunned unconscious, with tears dripping over his pretty face , I whispered the words, "Obliviate."

I carefully grab his wand's sleeve removing evidence of Regulus Black and embrace him one more time, leaving only the negative memories of us ingrained in his memories. When he wakes up, he won't remember moments of us and will only have hatred against me, but that's alright since that's how the story of the Wizard Prince and the Half-Blood Prince's story...


Chapter 18: J: Epilogue Into our next lives.

Chapter Text

Following all of the Harry Potter series up until the order of the Phoenix.

After discovering and eliminating every Horcrux, Harry, Ron, and Hermione come to the realization that they must confront Voldemort in a decisive battle. On the Hogwarts grounds, a valiant battle between good and evil is raging, with numerous wizards and witches fighting and giving their lives in order to defend Harry.



It is important to note that a few days after I left Severus in the forbidden forest under my protection spell, I was betrayed by Peter, who also framed Sirius. This ultimately resulted in my death and Lily's shortly after. After spending a month or two in the Wizardry Netherworld, some witches and wizards climb the stairs to receive judgment. Their souls are then placed in a goblet to determine whether they will reincarnate as magical beings or muggles.

But Lily and I stayed on the low level to see our little boy, Harry, grow up and become a respected wizard.

"Honey, it seems like our son kicked the Dark Lord's butt," Lily says with a smile as she prods me.

"Well, now that, that's over, that means that we can get reborn now, Lily,"

Lily follows behind me as I join, my friends, Sirius, Remus, and many more from the Order.

Peter was put on a darker side, it's Azkaban in the afterlife, the infernal region, along with all of the other Death Eaters, where they can't reach us.

A familiar presence is brought in by death as we ascend the glass-rotating stairs.

Lily turns around, immediately, she run down from the steps towards him and embraces him with open arms.

"Sev! You were amazing! A Hero!" Lily exclaims,

"...I'm no hero...Lily," Severus whispers,

I stood between Sirius and Remus as they both debated if they wanted to make things right.

"I mean, we're way past that by now," Sirius says,

"Right, but we shouldn't get reborn with bitter feelings," Remus says,

Taking a quick look at Severus, he looks so exhausted, as he has had such a miserable life, constantly going through hardship for others. It makes me sad that he's a wonderful person and could have been loved by so many wonderful witches or wizards, but he was so damaged that he was unable to learn how to love anybody, but Lily.

Slipping into the honorable person that he is today, Sirius interrupts Lily and asks if he can give Severus a tour of the Wizardry Netherworld, where we currently are.

Severus stares at Lily and immediately gives her a puzzled look in return. Before Sirius could borrow her friend, Lily asks him a series of questions, seeing how that's just all rather odd that Sirius would suddenly want to speak to Severus all of a sudden. Sirius turns to me, and I simply nod in response.

"We're all respectable adults now, I can handle, a walk with Sirius Black," Severus says.

"Well, I just got here not that long ago too, let me tour with you," Remus says,

"Stay back, Moony, we're going to get reborn right away, so just wait up on the stairs," Sirius says,

Taken offense Lily interrupts him.

"And you don't think that my friend is going to get reborn right away, is that it?" Lily arched an eyebrow.

"T—That's not what I mean, I mean, Snape, you just got here right, so you-"

" me... the... tour... and... I will go when I'm ready," Severus says slowly,

Lily circled back to me and stood next to me waiting on the third glass stair step.

"What are they doing?" Lily asks concerned,

"They're trying to apologize," I say,

"Apologize? They should've been done apologize to him when they were all living, they all lived longer than you and I, and really, why aren't you the first to apologize?"

To some extent, she is right. But I would like to speak with him alone. We're on the brink of reincarnation, so I'm not sure if I should tell Lily about us yet. She might not be able to handle it well, but Severus is innocent in this situation, so she can't be angry with him. I can't even tell my wife that I was in a secret relationship with her closest friend because of the fear of hurting her.

I truly am an arrogant toerag.

Moments later, Sirius and Remus return with Severus as they both try to get him to try food that muggles leave out for the dead.

"I'm not related to the Crouch family, but speaking of the Crouch family, where is Regulus?" Severus asks.

Sirius pauses, as he turns to look at me for answers.

"I have no idea, unfortunately, he passed at such a young age, maybe he's already been reincarnated, maybe he's a friend of Harry's?" Sirius teased.

"A friend of Harry Potter? I highly doubt that." Severus says it is emotionless.

"Lighten up, the kid is not that bad, you adore him like everyone else, don't you?" Remus says,

"Adore him? Why, that's a strong word that is not in my vocabulary," Severus says slowly.

"Well, that's it for the tour, say, be honest, did you like my little brother?" Sirius asks, "I'm grown now, I can handle the truth,"

Severus moves his lips to the left, smirkingly.

"Regulus Black was the same as that of James Potter, the Quidditch player that everyone...what's that word? Adore, so much, why would that even cross your mind? Evan Rosier, for crying out loud, had a better shot at being my love interest."

"I don't care who your love interest is, as long as he wasn't Mulciber or Barty Crouch Jr, heck why didn't those two get together?" Sirius says,

They resumed their conversation, and it was hard to see a real laugh come from Severus's mouth, he was completely numb.

"But yeah, why don't we go together, Let's get reborn, and maybe in our next life, we'll be friends and if you're lucky, I'll let you date my little brother,"

Severus gazes at Sirius uninterestedly.

"I rather not associate with the likes of you,"

I laugh a little from the short distance.

Severus turned his attention to me as he raised an eyebrow.

"Something funny, Potter?" Severus says slowly.

"Very," I respond.

Right now, Lily is on the seventh floor and is waving at us, encouraging us to run so that we can catch up with her. Remus and Sirius start racing each other, leaving me and Severus on the second floor.

Taking a few steps closer to him slowly, startled by my approach, Severus backs away from me. His eyes flashed with disdain.

"Stay back, Potter, we're already dead," Severus says,

"My, I have no clue why you're so pugnacious, I just want to talk to you," I say,

"I don't want to talk to the likes of you," Severus says as he speeds up the stairs, I smile as I follow behind him slowly.

"Stay back!" Severus says as he puts his arms out to stop me from drawing close.

"You're going to trip going at that speed," I say,

"Don't speak, nobody wants to hear you," Severus says coldly.

"Ouch, just because I'm dead doesn't mean that I don't have feelings,"

Severus pauses as he turns around to look at me.

"As if you can feel anything, Potter,"

I don't respond to him.

"If you're done, you can go ahead, Lily's waiting for you," Severus steps aside to let me go up the stairs past him, but just as I pass by him, I grab his hand and immediately he swaps my hand away.

"What the blimey hell is wrong with you!?" Severus snaps,

"That's more like it," I say,

"Out with it, what do you want, Potter?"

I took out his wand handle and handed it to him. The Deathly Hallows necklace that we got together, with our initials engraved on it, was included in that return. Severus observed the two items closely but didn't question them. He looks at me and then back at the items, perplexed.

"What is this?" Severus asks,

"Our unbreakable vow,"

Severus frowns.

"You're insane, James Potter,"

Looking around the glass staircases, I put my hand out.

"Let's get reincarnated together,"

Severus swapped my hand away again.

"You wish, Potter,"

I smiled.

"Are you falling in love with me?" I whisper,

"I rather be killed by the killing curse than to be with you,"

"I am the killing curse," I say,

"No, you're the deathly hallows,"

I approach him more closely, focusing my gaze on him as we both get younger and younger with each step up the stairs to the 12th floor until we're 17 once more. Where Lily, Remus, and Sirius are, they're 11 years old and waiting.

"Why do you have to lie to me?" I whisper,

"When have I lied to you?" Severus utters.

Admittedly, it's difficult because there are no wands in the Netherworld. So, I can't use Legilimens.

"Do you... Remember...our story?" I whisper.

"What story?," Severus says, climbing up the stairs to 16.

Seeing no way out of this, I stood abruptly, debating if I should wait a bit longer. Once Severus realized that I wasn't climbing up the stairs anymore, he came back down and put his hand out.

"Lily's waiting for you," Severus whispers.

I took his hand because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold these cold hands ever again. Going up a few stairs with him, I folded my fingers with his and just kept my eyes on him.

"Sev," I say softly.


"I want to be with you in my next life,"

Severus gripped his fingers over mine tighter.

"Sorry, I don't think that's a good idea,"

"Why?" I ask in a whisper. "Even in death, Why do you hurt me this way?"

Severus lets go of my hand and lets out a frustrated sigh.

"We're all going to be reborn, James, that includes Lily, every wizard life that gets reborn, gets reborn on repeat, Harry exists in this life time, which means that he has to exist in the next life line, what is it that you don't get?"

I pulled him in and just held him.

"Are you into single dads?" I teased.

"Have you gone mad?" Severus say, as he shoves me away.

I smiled, as I took his hand in my hand.

"I want to stay with you, in the next life, and in the next after that one," I say,

"Mhmm, I hear you," Severus mutters,

Just the level before the last one, I took Severus's hand and kissed the tip of his ring finger as we recited our unbreakable vow.

"Will you, Severus Snape, follow me into the next life?" I whispered,

"I don't have a choice," Severus mutters breathlessly,

"Mhmm, Will you this time, let me be your Wizard Prince?"

Severus tried to withdraw his hand and not answer to that one, but I held his hand between mine by continuing to kiss the top of his hand.

"Please?" I whispered,

"I can't do that to Lily,"

I get up, pull him in, and try to convey that just him alone is enough.

"She'd understand, she's my wife and your best friend, she'd want you to be happy,"

"Not like that," Severus says hesitatingly,

"Then, let's find out," I say,

Severus pulls away from my embrace as we both approach the large glass doors together.

"She'd hate me," Severus says,

"Then, I'll tell her to aim all of that hatred towards me," I whisper,

"You're insane, James Potter," Severus says adorably.

When we walked through the doors at the age of 10, we were greeted by a group of other children who were waiting for their names to be selected. I found Lily with Sirus and Remus. Lily will be okay, even though I love her, there are many suitors for her in life because she is so beautiful and intelligent. I will not make the same mistake twice in our next existence, even if I know that everything will repeat and that I will fall in love with her and pick on Severus once more. Things will be difficult, being Gryffindor and Slytherin, but in this life, we didn't fight for our story.

Once Sirius and Remus were at a table scribbling their names, I took Severus's hand and he tried to force my hold off, but I held onto his hand tighter. When we met up with Lily, her eyes immediately locked onto our hands before she looked at us in the eyes.

"Close now, aren't we?" Lily says,

"Very," I say firmly.

"Lily, it's not what you-" Severus's high pitched voice breaks out,

"Spill it," Lily says to me.

"I was in a secret relationship with Severus in our 5th year," I admit.

"5th year? The same year that he called me, that word?" Lily says,

Severus swings my hand off and shakes his head in denial.

"It's not true, Lily, believe me, I would never-"

I take Severus's hand again, and Lily's eyes watch as she lets out a frustrated sigh and walks in front of us.

It was a long walk to the mighty Merlin's throne. I don't say anything as we silently trot behind Lily. Sirius and Remus didn't understand why we had to go meet the Wizard King only to get reincarnated, but this wasn't a little issue because Harry exists.

The great throne hall greets us with the brightness of gold and white. To the very left was a spot for the headmaster who is now in his prime, approximately in his 30's.

Standing before us was a group of 4 who also had a similar problem, they went to a different school however.

"I didn't mean to, he seduced me!" The dark haired kid says, possibly a Ravenclaw,

"I trusted you! You were my friend!" The blonde girl cries, a Hufflepuff.

As we remained in line and awaited our verdict, the sensation of betrayal brushed over our faces. Once they have been offered options to alter their next lives, they return outside and bide their time until they are summoned to be reincarnated.

Lily takes the initiative and, to everyone's surprise, identifies herself as Lily Evans. She said it wasn't fair for her to have been in an unrequited romance and that she had lived in a fake relationship. Stepping to the side, I walked hand in hand with Severus, and the great Merlin smiled at us.

"Things that happened in this life can't be rewritten," Merlin says,

"What?" Lily responded in question.

"Such as having Harry," Merlin says,

Lily paused before speaking.

"But I just don't understand, if our Harry is born in every lifetime, then, why did they have that secret relationship in our 5th year? The same year that Sev and I stopped being friends?"

Merlin smiled.

"I just want to know if that part would be on repeat because if it is, I'd at least like to know in life, rather than in death," Lily says, as he turns back to glare at us.

"That I cannot control, because to each own they have control of their life, but Harry is conceived by you and Potter, and you may think that he's heartless for burying such a secret down to his soul but it's for the same reason that he doesn't want to hurt you,"

Lily tells us that she wants to talk to the great Merlin privately, so she asks that we step out. Lily didn't falter and shooed us both out when Severus tried to apologize. Severus pouts just beyond the big doors, envisioning the worst-case scenario. If he were in her position, he would be perplexed and would be angry with us for keeping that detail from her. I nodded and said that I would feel the same way as well, but that it would be better if we were upfront.

The doors shot open, and two guards let us in. Standing between Lily and Severus, I waited patiently to hear the results.

While holding Severus's left hand and Lily's right hand, I immediately feel something tight grip on my chest.

I still love them both.

Moments later, Merlin provided us with alternatives for our next existence, and there were numerous ways for us to make things possible for ourselves, including Harry.

"Ready?" I whisper,

"Always," Lily and Severus say at the same time, with tears running from their eyes.

My secret love story was all new to Sirius and Remus, however, they couldn't judge me, the portal opened, and with our names drawn, we fell through.

Into our next lives.

Chapter 19: Assonance's Note

Chapter Text

Hi, if you made it this far,

I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read,

[The Wizard Prince & The Half-Blood Prince: Covert Romance.]

If you enjoyed this journey, please be sure to check out,

[Second Life: Traumatized Contracted Lovers]

I turned this shipping pair into something much more than I had meant, and as some of you may know, now that they're residing in my head, I love them even more than I had anticipated.

Believe it or not, their ship was all a joke at first.


I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read it through and through.

First Life: The Wizard Prince & The Half-Blood Prince | Covert Romance - AssonanceWriter - Harry Potter (2024)
Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Rob Wisoky

Last Updated:

Views: 6492

Rating: 4.8 / 5 (48 voted)

Reviews: 95% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Rob Wisoky

Birthday: 1994-09-30

Address: 5789 Michel Vista, West Domenic, OR 80464-9452

Phone: +97313824072371

Job: Education Orchestrator

Hobby: Lockpicking, Crocheting, Baton twirling, Video gaming, Jogging, Whittling, Model building

Introduction: My name is Rob Wisoky, I am a smiling, helpful, encouraging, zealous, energetic, faithful, fantastic person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.